Wonder Woman I am Not

Let's review the checklist:

• Lasso of Truth - NOPE
• Indestructible bracelets (vambraces) - NOPE
• Invisible jet - NOPE
• Red suede go-go boots - NOPE
• Red bustier with gold eagle - NOPE
• Cleavage to fill out said busiter - NOPE
• Blue satin briefs embroidered with white stars that make my tush look an axe handle wide - NOPE

So then, how did I ever get it into my brain that I am Wonder Woman? It must be a mom thing.

I got to see my GP again today. A woman I really like and respect. Someday I would like to visit with her when I'm feeling well and we could hang out and have a beer. But instead today she got to tell me about the bacterial infection I have going through my body. At least it was an improvement over our last meet when she had to swab me for the swine flu.

Her instructions for me were to pick up my perscriptions (yes, I required more than one), go home, go to bed, and TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. What did I do? I picked up my perscriptions, stopped by the pastry goddess's bakery for a pity cookie, and went to work. As soon as I got to work, I was told by several people that I "looked like crap" and I was sent home by my boss.

I will admit that by the time I got home, my bed never felt so good.

The moral of the story: For all of you Wonder Woman wannabes out there, unless you have all the proper equipment and live your life in a comic book, it's not going to happen.

Illustration by: Terry Dodson, DC Comics

Suspicious Spot

During my ramblings and whining yesterday I neglected to mention the Suspicious Spot.

Last week our company had its annual health benefits fair. I had no intention of changing my coverage but I went along with my co-workers anyway. Because you can never have enough pens, containers of hand sanitizer, and individually wrapped toothbrushes for those forgetful overnight guests.

On my way out, I notice a local dermatologist providing free skin cancer screening. I felt a pang of guilt. I have a regular dermatologist but I had to cancel my last full-body screen because it happened to fall on the same day of my back surgery. I never got around to calling back to reschedule. In other words, I’m 14 months overdue for my 6 month screening. I don’t think procrastination had anything to do with it. Rather, it was pure laziness.

Since I’m a redhead living in Florida and I had an illustrious career as a lifeguard in high school and college, I decided to let this unknown dermatological PA give me the once over. The lovely PA discovered a “suspicious spot” on the tip of my nose but the rest of me looked pretty good.

Now I may have to explain to you why this suspicious spot made me nervous. I have EVERY SINGLE predisposition for skin cancer. That’s right, EVERY SINGLE ONE. I don’t feel like listing them so go look them up.

Within the past four years, I have had a pre-melanoma spot (chunk) excised from the back of my knee, a basal cell carcinoma cauterized from the back of my neck, and various other little tidbits scraped, punched, frozen, and burned from my body. Yep, I feel a little bit like a block of Swiss cheese.

My family history for skin cancer isn’t that promising either. My parents’ first incidences of skin cancer happened when each of them were in their 60’s. I was in my 30’s. Yippee! A 30-year head start!

The location of the suspicious spot on my nose makes me especially extra nervous because the skin on the nose and ears is very thin. If the spot turns out to be some sort of cancer, then it can get below the skin layers faster.

So the answer to your question is… my appointment with my regular dermatologist is on October 14th.

Note: This post is sans photos because, well, who really wants to look at photos of skin cancer? Yuck.

UPDATE: After typing my blog, I got my knickers in a twist with my current derm office. I like the doc but she's started doing botox and crap like that. I couldn't get a full body exam until April. That means I would be 20 months over due for my screening. Granted that's mostly my fault but still I'm supposed to be on a 6 months schedule.

I called the derm group that did the screening at the health fair. I have an appointment on Thursday with the PA that discovered my spot. Another thing I like about the new derm group is that the dermatologist is a Mohs surgeon. That's a big deal in the skin cancer world. I think I may be permenantly switching dermatologists. I'll let you know after Thursday.

You might want some cheese to go with my whine

My life at 40: the first 10 days.

Normally, I don’t blog about work because I try to leave work at work. For the past two years we have been working on a HUGE project and it’s all coming to a head in two weeks. In fact, two weeks it will all be over with and hopefully there won’t be a very high body count.

So it would be safe to say that there’s a little bit of stress at work and it’s seeped into the rest of my life.

Since my birthday, I’ve been sick. Or as I’ve been calling it, “The Super Model Diet.” But after five days of barfing, I still don’t look like a Super Model. I believe the real culprit was a stomach issue exacerbated by stress. Exacerbated… how’s that for a big word on a Monday?

I’m feeling much better now but still run down. I had to feel better because I received gift cards from generous friends and family for my birthday that I wanted to use! Three of the gift cards were for salon/spa services at three DIFFERENT salon/spas.

It took some doing but I managed to schedule a haircut, massage, and facial all for this past Saturday. Of course, this all had to be done around Mr. A’s social commitments.

Saturday morning started off with my haircut. I really didn’t need a haircut just yet. But since the gift card was only good for the month of my birthday, I had to act quickly. I’ve been seeing my hairdresser for 10 years now and we’ve been through a lot together. When I walked in, he started with the old jokes. I was a tad bit confused. Then he showed me the appointment slip that under “Special Comments” was typed in ALL CAPS: Tease customer about age.

After some hectic errand running I arrived at the massage therapist location. I had never been to this massage therapist before. It definitely wasn’t a spa. It was an old Florida Cracker cottage. It was charming but not what I expected. Another surprise was seeing my boss’s car in the parking lot. What. Are. The. Chances? The lobby conversation was a little awkward. So much for leaving work at work.

When I met the massage therapist, I immediately liked her. I asked for a relaxing massage. But instead I got the hardest, toughest sports massage of my life. She found knots in my body that I never even knew I had. It was fantastic! It was the closest I ever came to ecstasy while a woman had her hands on me.

Afterwards, I was invigorated! I felt like I just completed an intense workout without doing any of the work. I knew that I needed to keep moving for the rest of the day to prevent stiffness and drink plenty of water to flush all the lactic acid out of my muscles.

I wasn’t worried about drinking enough water. I know I drink at least three liters of water a day. No, I normally don’t use the metric system. But my Sigg bottle is one liter and I fill it up at least three times a day while I’m at work.

My final appointment of the day was a facial. The esthetician (ooh, second big word of the day) and I didn’t get off to a good start. Let me say that I may be from New Jersey but a New York accent can set my teeth on edge any day! She informed me that she doesn’t do eyebrow waxing and facials at the same appointment. She also told me that my skin was dehydrated because I don’t drink enough water. Hello? Did she not see the one liter Evian bottle that I had in my hand as I walked in because my Sigg was empty and I had to make an emergency stop?

My “ME” day was over and I was pooped. But wait! There’s still Homecoming! Please refer to previous post for emotional meltdown.

I finally passed out on my bed at 8:30 pm fully clothed. I woke up Sunday morning feeling completely refreshed.

Until I moved.

I felt like I had been in a street fight. Only I couldn’t remember if I was a Shark or a Jet.

I still feel wonderful from my massage with “Cindy Steel Hands” and I plan to go back again... Just as soon as the bruises heal.

Did I mention that G-Man sent his cell phone through the washing machine? That’s all I’m going to say about that.

The Good News? Mercury moves out of retrograde tomorrow. Thank goodness!

Homecoming 2009

Last night marked another milestone in my journey as a mother.

WHAT???

Homecoming is suppose to be a momentous high school event, right? It is. But since Mr. A doesn't write this blog, you're getting it from my perspective.

When Mr. A announced his intentions to actually go to a school dance this year I thanked my lucky stars for having a son. No dress shopping. No shoe shopping. No hair & nail appointments. In other words, no drama. Maybe a new tie and that's all.

Who knew that Homecoming would be a tear-jerker? No, I didn't cry in front of Mr. A and Miss N. But the tears came suddenly when I saw the photos. My emotional response threw me for a loop. You have to understand that I'm the mom that didn't shed a tear on the first day of kindergarten! I was glad to send his happy little self off to school.

The image of the young man on my computer screen made me think that in two years he will be in college. If all goes well, that college will be the US Naval Academy. I look at this young man that I am immensely proud of and I wonder how did I do this? For the past seven years my Sweetie and I have raised the boys together. But before that and for so long I was the only positive influence in their lives. That's why I look at Mr. A and wonder, "How did I NOT F-up?"

I know that if we do our jobs correctly as parents, he will be ready in two years. But will I?

No one told me motherhood was this hard.

...Like a Fish Needs a Bicycle

Did you ever think that the fish might just WANT a bicycle???

Time to Hit the Books

More specifically, the manual to my Nikon D-40.

My Sweetie, being the awesome guy that he is, surprised me by ordering a new lens for my camera. It's a Tamron 70-300mm lens. In other words, the next time we go to Myakka State Park, I'll be able to photograph the ferns on the trees or maybe even the birds!

I've been sick the past several days. In fact, my first week of being 40 hasn't been all that great. But Tuesday while I was in bed feeling blecky, my Sweetie came home with a package behind his back. He had just picked up the lens from the camera shop and fitted it to my camera right away. I took the below photos from my bed of the antique quilt that hangs on the wall.

FAR

NEAR

Pretty cool, eh?

Carpe Diem Autumnus

My calendar tells me that it is technically Fall. The weather forecast tells me that it will be 93 degrees today. Fall never really comes to south Florida and I sure do miss it. Probably more than I miss Spring.

I miss wearing blue jeans, a sweater, gloves, and a scarf but no jacket. I miss the crisp, cool air that makes the hair on my neck tingle and a sky so blue that it almost hurts to look at it. I miss apple picking. I miss carving pumpkins that don't rot with 24 hours. I miss making chili.

Somehow a beautiful Fall day can make me feel so alive. A completely different sensation than a Spring day. Spring is all about waking up and new beginnings. Fall is all about taking full advantage of the moment and living life to the fullest because there’s no telling how long it will last before the grey, bleak winter settles in.

Photo credits: Pines Lake by Bill Maloney, Pines Lake by Bill Maloney, Laurelwood Arboretum by Bob Shine

Mid-Life Crisis

Now that I'm forty, I'd like more information on the whole mid-life crisis thing. Is this something I should plan for or does it just happen unexpectedly? Do men only get them or can women have them too? Most importantly, is the sports car automatically included? If so, who pays for it?

If the answers to those last two questions are "yes" and "someone else" respectively, then I would like a Maserati. I'm not picky about color.

I've wanted a Maserati since I was in the 6th grade. But then last year when I saw Quantum of Solace in the theaters, the opening car chase almost swayed me in the direction of an Aston Martin. In fact, I'm still torn. Maybe if the Aston Martin came with Daniel Craig...

Birthday Cake

Anyone who's ever asks me what my favorite food is will always get the same answer: Birthday Cake. Maybe it's sentimental because my grandparents were pastry chefs but I will never pass up a slice of birthday cake. Cookies come a close second.

For my birthday yesterday I had TWO birthday cakes and a cookie all made by the pastry goddess. I don't have a photo of the cake from the office. But I can tell you that as soon as word got out that it was a pastry goddess cake, people came from everywhere! I'm not even sure they were there to wish me happy birthday but solely to have cake.

Both cakes were rich and superb. G-Man decided my cake at home needed a camera on it to reinforce my promise to read the manual for my new camera. The goddess created a replica of a Brownie C30 for the top. But in honor of my birthday she labeled it a C40.

She also managed to sneak in plety of "40's" throughout the scroll work. If I didn't love her creations so much, I'd complain.


Of course, the best part in on the inside... that's were all the love is. :)

My Sweetie selected chocolate cake with a chocolate mousse filling. It doesn't get much better than that.

I do believe I gained five pounds yesterday and it was all BUTTER!

Today is the Day

This is the day I’ve been dreading for months. Today I am FORTY. Ugh. I still really don’t like that word.

This morning I woke up and didn’t feel any different. I ran through my checklist… ten fingers, ten toes, the arms and legs seemed to be working. As I got out of bed, I didn’t notice any aches and pains. The hardware in my back hadn’t suddenly come loose during the night. Looking in the bathroom mirror I didn’t notice any white hair, crows’ feet, and I still had all my teeth. Hmmm… maybe this age thing is just a mindset after all.

According to family lore, 40 years ago while my father was at the hospital with my mom, Mr. V came from across the street to watch my older brother and sister. At some point, Mr. V make them all peach milkshakes. So to carry on with tradition, I made myself a peach smoothie for breakfast this morning. Then I had my birthday cookie…

Also, the story goes that as soon as my father saw my flaming red hair, he knew that I was neither a “Heather” or a “Leslie.”

Photos courtesy of G-Man.

My Time to Shine

Today is my last day as a 30-something. I feel that I should say something profound. But I've got nothing.

I considered a post reveiwing the highlights from each decade of my life complete with photos. So last night I started sifting through the photo boxes. Those are the things us old people use to store photos and negatives way back when cameras actually used film.

I was laughing so hard at some of my snapshots from college that G-Man wondered if I had gone completely mad. Then I opened a box of the boys' baby photos and got all mushy and sentimental. Why are they so darn cute when they're little and why don't they stay that way?


It was about that time that I noticed something about my photos. For a ten year span of my life I'm barely in any photos at all. When I am in a photo it looks as if I'm trying to hide. I look so rigid and reserved. Not a single spark in my expression.

I became contemplative and I put the photos away. I just didn't want to look at myself from that "in between" time. Then I thought about something someone very close to our family told me recently...

She said that the majority of my 20's was hell for me, my 30's were a wild rollercoaster ride, so my 40's will be my chance to shine. She's a very wise woman and I plan to shine. Baby, do I ever plan to shine. Just like in the funky photo at the top taken when I was 21.

As you can see, I also felt the need to include the gratuitous big hair photo. Yes, that's natural curl that I no longer have after two pregnancies. AND for the record, I wasn't the one who cut the photo in half.

Migraine City

The song "Suffragette City" is running through my head. The words "Migraine City" don't exactly fit the tune. But then again, suffrage means the right to vote and has nothing to do with the pain of a migraine.

OK, I'm rambling.

Work has been stressful lately and I've let it get to me. I've had this particular job for five years and this is the first time that it's gotten stressful. In fact, I took this job to get away from work-related stress.

Extended periods of stress tend to trigger migraines for me. With the exception of an occasional headache from time to time, I haven't experienced a long string of recurring migraines since my divorce eight years ago.

When this batch of headaches popped up I tried to ignore them. If a headache got too bad, I would take four Advil with my favorite caffeinated beverage and continue on. That usually knocked it back enough so that I was able to function. I was crabby as heck but I could function.

Why didn't I go to my doctor and get some real migraine medicine? Because after all the pain meds I took with my back, I just didn't want to take anymore. Ever. Plus compared to my previous back pain, the headaches were a day at the beach. Remember, stoic is spelled s-t-u-p-i-d.

Well, after three weeks of my crabbiness, nausea, and wincing, I agreed to make an appointment with my doctor. It also helped that my Sweetie was riding my case really hard. Apparently, he doesn't think that repetitive headaches on the same side of the head are normal.

My appointment was yesterday. On my way to work, I noticed a headache lingering on the fringes. As usual, I tried to ignore it. The migraine, on the other hand, was thinking "Game On."

By the time I got to the doctor's office at mid-morning, I was in the middle of a full-blown migraine. I wasn't a pretty sight. The office staff took pity on me and gave my chart to the nurse right away. I won't bore you with the gory details but my doctor gave me samples of migraine medication and had me shot up with anti-nausea medication and a painkiller. Thank goodness I live only five minutes from the medical center.

FYI - These days if you get sick to your stomach in a doctor's office, you automatically get swabbed for the swine flu.

In case you're wondering, I'm clear.

The final theory was that since the migraine never fully went away (because I only took Advil) it just kept building and building until it all came to a head today.

When I got home yesterday I took a four hour nap. I felt better when I woke up but not great. I hesitated about taking the migraine med. (stoic) I wanted to look it up online first. But that would have required getting out of bed and turning the computer on. Finally I did and I wasn't too excited about the possible side effects. The migraine almost sounded pleasant in comparison.

Of course, my Sweetie badgered me when he got home. Maybe I should call it tough love. He made me scrambled eggs and bugged me until I took the medication. I really didn't want to take it because of the side effects and the directions. (stoic) Any dosing instructions that include "lay down in a dark room for one hour" means that the medication isn't intended for anyone who works full-time.

But since my doctor went to medical school and all, I decided to trust her judgement.

Oh my gosh! The stuff worked within 20 minutes.

Now the next step is to figure out how to either eliminate the stress at work or reduce the effects. Any suggestions?

Excuse me while I go eat some crow.

It's Good to be the President

Mothers of America, tell your children that they should strive to be President. Not the US President but the president of a university with a nationally ranked football team. Why? Because watching a football game from the President's Box totally rocks! Besides that, how many US Presidents have had their own boxes at a sports stadium?

Saturday night was the first time I ever attended a college football game. I am now completely and utterly spoiled. We had a really good parking spot, the view was fantastic, the food was great, and the people were so nice. But honestly the best part was the fact that we were inside!

It rained all day Saturday. The rain let up a little bit before game time so we didn't get wet as we walked into the stadium. But then the heavens opened up just before kick-off. Only the super loyal fans and the people that HAD to be at the game were outside.

Deluge in the 1st quarter.

I can't comment too much on the game itself because really it wasn't all that interesting. Jacksonville State had the lead for most of the game. I'm not sure who the players were in the Seminole uniforms because they certainly didn't play like FSU players. FSU finally won in the last 10 minutes of the game.

The rain stopped by half time. Great view, eh?

Did I mention the great food and open bar? Let me give you more details... There was the traditional fare of boiled peanuts and hot dogs with all the toppings. But there was also a spread of slightly more refined Southern food of spinach salad, seafood ceviche, smashed potatoes with all the toppings, honey-baked ham, biscuits with black-eyed peas, fried okra, rolls & butter, and assorted pasteries & cookies. I was well fed so when the hostesses came around in the 3rd quarter handing out Haagen Dazs ice cream bars, I had to pass. But my Sweetie and I took advantage of the coffee & tea bar in the 4th quarter.

I apologize for not taking more photos but let's face it, I was having too much fun. Besides that, I had Mr. A's camera and I forgot that I turned the flash off to get the photos through the glass. So all the other photos I took were too dark. With the exception of the statue of "Renegade" pictured below.

We also had our picture taken for our souvenir photo!

By the way, do you like my scarf? I stressed way too much about the "business casual" dress code. About a third of the people in the box completely ignored it.

Mark Y. Gilles

Today is a day for rememberance, a day for unity, a day to tell someone how much they are loved.

Mark Y. Gilles, an accountant at Cantor Fitzgerald, was 33 when the Towers fell on September 11th. I didn't know Mark but I do know that he was loved... is still loved. Mark is loved by his daughter, his mother, his sister, and the many other people who's lives he touched.

As millions remember the thousands that were lost eight years ago, I made a promise to remember Mark Y. Gilles today as an individual. If you like, visit Project 2996 to find other memorials to the individuals of 9/11.

Randomness

1. The earlier I set my alarm the more times I hit the snooze button.

2. Ever get that one cashier (usually in Wally World) that has to examine and comment on every single item in your order? Makes you glad that you forgot to pick up Tucks for your hubby.

3. Is there any rhyme or reason to the coupons generated by the cash register at Target? Why would anyone assume that because I bought dog food that I would need a coupon for kitty litter. It happens EVERY time!

4. Half the people in my office are dieting. The other half brings in a constant stream of baked goods.

5. Carrot tops are GREEN!

6. I just discovered that the dress I’m wearing has pockets.

7. Yes, I really wish someone would invent a sarcasm font.

8. I can’t believe how many people stop on railroad tracks at traffic lights. Do they think that trains stop at red lights too?

9. Why are there so many self-storage facilities? Do people in this country really own so much stuff that it can’t fit in their homes?

10. Ever see a Great Dane sneeze? It’s amusing.

11. While driving through a State Park, pull off to the side of the road, get out and take some pictures. You could take photos of a rotting log and at least three other cars will stop to see what you’re photographing.

12. I wonder why companies that promote themselves as eco-friendly (Starbucks) still have drive-thru windows?

13. Will my to-do list ever have a finish line?


Landers, Frary & Clark, company design, (Artist), American
Universal Electric Iron, Before 1948
Chrome and plastic, h. 4 x l. 9 1/8 (h. 10.2 x l. 23.2 cm)
Gift of the manufacturer, Museum of Modern Art (New York, N.Y.)
SC125.1948

The Power of Snausages

Molly is a princess. We all know that. She certainly has come a long way from being a homeless puppy wandering the streets.

Molly doesn't like to get wet. Not in the rain, not at the beach, and definitely not in the tub. In fact, she doesn't even fit in a tub. Originally, her showers were on the patio with the garden hose. One winter Molly really needed a bath but it was too cold outside for her to get wet. My parents coaxed her into their walk-in shower with a trail of Snausages. The princess finally revealed her weakness. Now all my parents have to do is bring out the Snausage container and Molly walks into the shower. We can't do that at our house because our shower isn't large enough for a Great Dane and a human at the same time.

The other grooming activity Molly detests is nail trimming. Actually, she won't let anyone touch her feet. It used to be that when she saw the nail trimmer she would curl all four paws under her body and there wasn't a force on this planet that could budge her.

Until now.

The presence of the magical Snausage can alone will cause the princess to lay on her side and present paws for trimming. Of course she gets half a treat after each paw or she won't give you the next one. Molly has a lot of Snausages in her future because we let her nails (talons) get embarrassingly long and we're slowly grinding them down with a Peticure trimmer. When I ordered the trimmer I made sure to buy lots of extra sanding bands... and Snausages.

Advice from General Melchett

As General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanany Melchett advises Captain Blackadder, never ignore a pooh pooh.

Myakka State Park

Today the guys and I went to Myakka River State Park. However, at this time of year it should be called Myakka Swamp. With the summer rains the river is up and the trails are underwater. We weren't able to get to the tree canopy walkway but we kept ourselves busy spotting wildlife and snapping photos.

G-Man brought his own binoculars. He must not trust the tacky tourist view finder bolted to the deck.



Like father, like son.

The many baby alligators captured my attention. These critters don't make me nervous until they reach three feet in length.

The ferns growing on all the trees also fascinated me. I found them to be quite beautiful. But I couldn't get close enough to show all the texture since the water was too high.

College Football

Labor Day weekend marks the start of the college football season. Since I didn't attend a university with a football team, I didn't get interested in college football until I met my Sweetie. Now it's a family affair to watch our favorite teams on Saturdays... Navy, Notre Dame, USF, Penn State, FSU...

I was a little discouraged to learn that many of the BIG schools schedule home openers against teams that aren't in the same conference or division. Where's the sportsmanship in watching the home team shut out a team that doesn't have a prayer of even scoring. Football is so much more exciting when the teams are evenly matched.

Ohio State Univeristy was in for a surprise when they scheduled their home opener yesterday against Navy. The last time OSU hosted Navy was in 1931 and it was a shut out. I suppose the Buckeyes thought it would be a cake walk to play a service academy. Well, the Midshipmen made them sweat. I have never seen OSU fans so quiet. The final score was OSU 31 and Navy 27. Yes, the Buckeyes won but they really had to work for it.

The thing that impresses me the most is that football players that go to Big 10 schools go to play football. Players at the Naval Academy go there to became Naval officers and football is secondary. I could pick on OSU a little bit more by saying that I think their band uniforms look like Army ROTC uniforms with those ridiculous berets and that they're fight song sounds like something out of the The Music Man. But that would probably be unsportsman-like.

Next weekend my Sweetie and I are going to Tallahassee to the FSU game. We've been invited to the University President's box. I'm very excited! But when I got to the part of the invite that stated "business casual attire" I got stumped. So much for wearing my favorite blue jeans and one and only FSU t-shirt. What should I wear while I'm cheering on the home team with my boss's boss's boss's boss? My Sweetie is set with khakis and an FSU polo shirt. I could do the same but I really don't want to look like I'm a member of the women's softball team. How can I show team spirit and still look fashionable? Any suggestions?

Wannabes

One thing I really want to learn how to do is use my new camera properly. OK, I've had the camera for six months but since it's technically a birthday present, I've put off opening the owner's manual until d-day. Until that time, it's all trial and error for me.

When I have a few free minutes on the computer I cruise through real photographers' blogs and websites. I often see images I really like and I try to emulate the style on my own. Since I don't have a clue as to what I'm doing, it's usually a shot in the dark. Plus it doesn't help that my models don't like to cooperate. The phrase, "Act natural" doesn't compute when the camera comes out.

Below are the results of my most recent attempt. I guess the boys thought that they looked cool or tough or something. I think they look like they want to be on a cover of a U2 album.

The last photo was taken by G-Man in a moving car. I do believe the little punk has more promise as a photographer than I do.

Mini Makeover

Welcome to the slightly remodeled PLRH!

For a few months now I’ve wanted to switch to a white background and more spacious font to make things look cleaner and hopefully be a little bit easier to read. But with the white background I felt that I needed a signature image for the header. That’s where I got stumped…

What image concisely said Pines Lake Redhead?

I didn’t want a photo of myself. That’s a little too narcissistic. I would have love to used a serene photo of Pines Lake in the early morning but I don’t have one because it’s been 14 years since I’ve been there and don’t have any plans to go back in the near future. I did find a royalty-free image of a lake that looked similar to Pines Lake but I thought that would be cheating.

That’s when I decided to go for a graphic image. I think it works well for me. Any opinions?

One Day, Our Name Will Be on a Building

It’s only the second week of school and I’m stressed. I shouldn’t be stressed. I don’t have to memorize my class schedule, remember my locker combination, or worry about bringing my gym clothes to school.

In fact, I think things are going well for G-Man. That’s only a guess because the kid doesn’t talk very much. He has finally acknowledged that girls actually go to his school! Get this! He even identified a girl BY NAME in each one of his classes. Hey, if I had “Susie Derkins” tormenting me every school year since kindergarten, I’d learn to ignore the female population too.

Mr. A, on the other hand, is the one that’s causing my anxiety. His first assignment for Engineering II was to start a fire without the use of matches or lighter. It’s an exercise in thinking outside the box and creativity. I can certainly appreciate that.

But this assignment isn’t strictly theoretical, it’s practical. The more methods the students use to start a fire the more points they earn. If they can keep it burning longer than one minute, then even more points. If they can boil a can of water… well, you get the idea.

This past weekend we went shopping for fine steel wool, cotton balls, and petroleum jelly. When Mr. A gravitated to the moth balls, I reminded him that he was to start a fire not make things explode. Of course, I didn’t quite phrase things that way and Mr. A started reciting a Saturday Night Live skit…

¿Dónde está la bomba?
¿Está la bomba en la biblioteca?
¿Está la bomba en el supermercado?

At home, Mr. A added some other key items to his arsenal and took his way-too-eager-little-brother outside to experiment. Before he walked out the door, he turned to me and announced,

“I’m off to take over the world. You might want to update your FaceBook status.”

We now have scorch marks on our driveway.

All day yesterday I was as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. Every time my phone rang I just knew it was going to be the high school informing me that I had to liquidate my 401k to pay for the construction of a new science wing. I had good reason to worry. Accidentally blowing things up is a family trait.

Mr. A called after school to inform me that his group was more prepared than the Boy Scouts and out burned all the other groups. I was so relieved. Only 174 more days of school to go.

Maybe this week in AP Chemistry he’ll discover a way to clean scorch marks off a concrete driveway.