Flamingo Love

This cold spell reminds me of my sister’s outdoor wedding in Miami 14 years ago next month. We expected 70 degree weather but instead there was a cold snap and the temps barely got out of the 40’s. The wedding guests were bundled up and the men were toasty in their tuxes. But my sister and I were freezing in our sleeveless dresses. I ended up wearing a cropped jacket over my dressed but was still cold despite the bun in the oven. That’s right, G-Man was a 5-month speed bump of love that no one noticed under my empire-styled dress. My sister toughed it out because she didn’t want to cover up her dress.

However, the cold weather wasn’t the most memorable part of my sister’s wedding. The ceremony and reception were held at Parrot Jungle*. At the time, it was a typical tacky tourist attraction that opened in the 1930’s. Imagine having to walk through turnstiles to get to your wedding venue. As tacky as it was with the injection molded plastic souvenir machines stinking up the place, the gardens were beautiful.

My sister selected the terrace overlooking the Flamingo Pond for the reception site. We first visited the location the previous April. The grass around the pond was all dug up and covered in big mounds of mud. The wedding planner explained that April is nesting season but in February the area around the pond would be a lush green lawn. She neglected to mention that February is MATING season.

Have you ever seen flamingos mate? It’s quite entertaining. The unsuspecting female stands around minding her own business when a male targets her from about 25 yards away. The male starts running towards the female with his wings flapping and leap frogs onto her back. The coupling occurs with a great deal of enthusiasm on the male’s part while the female attempts to maintain balance on her wobbly legs.

The pink birds provided the entertainment for the entire wedding. It was akin to watching a nature program on the National Geographic channel. Although, instead of Sir David Attenborough narrating, we got to listen to the commentary of the drunken groomsmen.

Mr. A was only a little over two years old and he wanted to know what the birds were doing. I simply told him that they were playing leap frog. He accepted my answer and went back to eating his pasta salad.

My brother was able to slip away and buy some plastic pink flamingo lawn ornaments. Later that night we went to our sister’s house and decorated the front yard because we knew the newlyweds would stop back home before departing on their honeymoon. Pink flamingos continue to be my favorite gag gift for my sister and brother-in-law.

Does anyone else have any unusual and entertaining wedding or nature stories?

*The park now operates under a different name and has greatly expanded.