The Baby Dreams

For as long as I can remember I always wanted to be a mother. I wanted four children. But as it turned out, I was blessed with two healthy sons. And no more.

Personally, my favorite part of being pregnant was the intimacy I felt with my child. Long before I ever knew if he was a he or a she, I knew things about each son’s personality. I knew that Mr. A liked to sleep stretched out (with his heel hooked on my lower rib) and I knew that G-Man liked to sleep curled up in a tight ball (on my bladder). They both sleep in the same manners today (minus my body parts).

I loved everything about being a new mom. I loved the feel of my sons’ skin, hearing their contented sighs after nursing, the weight of their tiny bodies in the crook of my arm, the fineness of their hair and it’s scent.

When my Sweetie and I met we talked about more children. I would have loved to share the whole pregnancy experience with him. Instead, we jointly decided that another high-risk pregnancy was too much of a risk. God gave us two sons to raise and that’s what we’re doing.

In retrospect, we now know that I probably wouldn’t have been able to carry a pregnancy to term. My spine probably would have collapsed and I’d be paralyzed. Not a pleasant thought. I can’t carry to full term now either since my spine has been fused. That was one of the stipulations I had to agree to before the surgery.

I enjoy teasing my Sweetie that he purposely married into an “instant family” just so he wouldn’t have to change poopy diapers.

Now that I’ve shared that long intro with you…

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve dreamt that I’ve been happily pregnant and easily had a baby with my Sweetie.

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!

Ever since I turned 40, I’ve pretty much been over baby fever. So I knew that these dreams must have alternative meanings. I did what all my other online blogging buddies have done in recent months, I consulted a dream dictionary. Here’s what it had to say:

To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted.

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

Now I need your help. What does all of this mean for me? How do I figure out what great new beginning or idea am I suppose to develop?