Simple Moments in Life

Last week Kristen at Motherese wrote of a quiet, intimate moment she shared with her toddler son while her infant son still napped. She referred to this as a Crystalline Moment. I’m sure it’s a memory that Kristen will always treasure in her heart. She then asked readers what crystalline moments they had experienced so far that week.

Right away individual moments that I experienced with each of my loves came to mind. These simple moments full of love and affection came so easily to the forefront. I realized that my life is interwoven with these moments. They help make up the fabric of my happiness and well-being.

Kristen’s post and reply to my comment struck deep in my core. For the rest of that day and up to this very instance I’ve been reflecting on the past 16+ years and my treasured moments with my sons.

My sons are exactly two years and nine months apart in age. Mr. A had me solely to himself for that amount of time. Not only was I a stay-at-home mom, I was a military wife. It was just the two of us for 90% of the time. Mr. A relied on me for every need both physical and emotional.

When G-Man was born my attentions suddenly had to be shared. With the exception of one bout of crying the first night G-Man was home from the hospital, Mr. A never showed any jealously and has been a loving big brother.

Mr. A segued into brotherhood with flying colors. I, on the other hand, was jealous and guilt-ridden. I wanted those same one-on-one moments with my new son that I had with my first. I felt guilty that G-Man didn't get my undivided attention 24/7 like his older brother did as an infant. Beyond middle of the night nursing, it was difficult to get that individual quiet time when my almost 3-year-old had already given up the nap.

Then that glorious invention of 20th-century education came along. Preschool. While Mr. A was off socializing with kids his own age and following instructions from adults other than his mother, G-Man and I had three hours a morning, three days a week all to ourselves.

I relished this time together. I would hold my son in my lap and look into his eyes. I would wait for him to focus on my face and smile. I would even hold him long after he fell asleep rather than put him in his crib.

By the time Mr. A started kindergarten, I was working full-time and my mother got to spend quality time with her youngest grandson. I don’t think either one of them would trade that time together for anything.

Sometime around age eight, little boys start to relate more to Dad than they do to Mom. I call this phenomenon “Going over to the Dark Side.” Seriously, our family was very lucky because my Sweetie came into our lives when Mr. A was eight and G-Man was five. The boys instantly bonded to S. But I feel that I’ve maintained a close relationship with the boys because of all the time when it was just the three of us.

Each and every day I look forward to my one-on-one time with each of my loves.

If I need to make a middle of the week grocery store run, Mr. A is the first one to volunteer to come with me. Perhaps it’s because it’s an opportunity for him to practice driving. I’d like to think it’s because of the conversations we have. We talk very openly about anything and everything and we both appreciate it.

Some days I think that G-Man would much rather hang out with Dad than me. First of all, I don’t play golf and Dad does. Plus G-Man is a little on the shy side and is just getting used to talking to girls and I’m, well, a girl. But it does warm my heart when my youngest asks me in the evening if I would like to get the mail with him. As we walk to the mailbox on the corner, my shy, adolescent son on the cusp of his teen years reaches for my hand and we walk hand-in-hand down the sidewalk for the whole neighborhood to see.

What simple moments do you treasure with your child, spouse, friend, parent, sibling? Why are these moments so important? Is a simple moment just as important as a milestone such as graduation?