In middle school Mr. A announced that he wanted to attend the US Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland for his college career and become a Naval Officer. This didn’t surprise me at all. By that time, I already knew that he would thrive in a military career. His personality is well suited for that type of structure. My Sweetie and I told Mr. A that if he was still interested in the Academy by the time he got to high school, we would help him as best we could to prepare and apply.
During his freshman year in high school, Mr. A announced that if he didn’t make it into the Academy, then Notre Dame would be his “back-up” school. I choked when he said this because earlier that week I had read an article listing Notre Dame as the second most expensive university to attend. I asked who would pay for it. He calmly answered, the Navy. Mr. A had done his research and found that that Norte Dame has a large Navy ROTC program. I apologized to my son, commended him on his planning, and secretly wondered whose child he was.
Fast forward to present day. Mr. A’s desire to attend the Academy and become a Naval Officer is stronger than ever. He is driven and works very hard. Mr. A is on track with the application process but since nothing in life is guaranteed, he has to have a back-up plan. That plan is Navy ROTC.
Mr. A needs to apply for his Navy ROTC scholarship this summer. Over the weekend, he reviewed the application and discovered that he is required to apply to five schools. What? Five? He asked me which schools should he pick. I suggested that we look through the list of schools and check out their respective Engineering programs. We ended with a list of 13 universities. Then I suggested that he prioritize them by what he thought to be the most important criteria. As per his nature, Mr. A proceeded to make a spreadsheet.
As he did that, I internally had a “Mom Moment.” Yep. I freaked out a tad bit. Okay, a lot.
In my mind I had him attending the Naval Academy… A small, controlled, well-disciplined, higher-learning environment. At the Academy the Brigade of Midshipmen (student body) is made up of only 4,500 men and women. Notre Dame, the "back-up" school, is a relatively small, Catholic university with lots of rules. The other choices were possibly University of South Florida or the University of Florida.
Suddenly, Mr. A is throwing around names like MIT, Carnegie Mellon, Cornell, Michigan, Arizona, George Washington, Cornell, Auburn, and Rice.
Wait! Stop! This is happening too fast!
Some of you may think I’m a little odd that I’m comfortable about my son attending the US Naval Academy but I get anxiety ridden at the thought of a traditional college. The Navy is tradition in our family and I’m very proud of my son for wanting to serve his country. He wants to study engineering and the service academies are far and away the best engineering schools in the world. This is Mr. A’s dream and the entire family supports him.
My “Mom Moment” was caused by the change of plans. Sometimes I don’t do well with change. I may need a little extra time to adjust. Once I thought about the whole college thing, I realized my anxiety was caused by the fact that all of the additional universities on Mr. A’s list were outside MY comfort zone. None of them were schools that I would have personally attended.
But they aren’t outside Mr. A’s comfort zone. Now that I’ve had a few days to think it through I know that Mr. A will select the right five schools for him. Just in case the Academy misplaces his application.
Do you ever impose your own comfort zone limits on your children?
Do you encourage your children to do things that are beyond your comfort zone?
Do you encourage your children to step beyond their comfort zone?
Photo: Bancroft Hall, US Naval Academy, 1980, Library of Congress
9 comments:
Wow, he sounds like an amazing guy. And you sound like an amazing mom for not limiting his dreams - so many parents would just say "that's too expensive, too difficult, too far away, etc". My parents always encouraged each of us to become what we wanted to and supported our dreams even if they weren't what they would have picked. It's pretty amazing that all 3 of their children are well-adjusted and success oriented. I hope I can tame my need for control enough to be that type for parent myself!
WOW!! As always things will work out the way they are suppose to. As for a "Mom Moment" it was totally justified.
BTW if by some stretch of the imagination he ends up at UF. Aunt M will keep a close eye on him. Remember I'm the one he wouldn't want to mess with. Ha Ha.
Yes, yes, yes. My kids are young and I already do this. I am a worrywort by nature so I'm going to have to be very conscious about being supportive and making sure I'm not projecting my own anxiety onto their decisions.
It sounds to me like you're handing everything really well (even if inside you feel like you're a mess).
Today, I'm signing my six year old daughter up for soccer. It's not totally my comfort zone, but she's expressed interest and I'm thrilled. I was never comfortable "going out for teams" when I was in school, I think in part because I didn't get that early exposure to sports teams (my brothers did, because they were boys).
/tangent
Oh MAN! I can't even imagine having to start this process with my boys. Anxiety? Um, yeah. Sure. Indeed! I hope, however, that I am as confident as you are in my children's ability to choose wisely, and choose what's best for them. I'd say that admitting this about your son is also affirming that you've done an excellent job as a mama so far. Kudos. And good luck to you and MR. A.
Thank you for this honest post. I think this is so hard - parenting without imposing our own visions and comforts on our creatures. But it sounds to me like you have terrific perspective. I cannot even imagine going through this with my girls. Good thing they are only one and three! :)
He sounds amazingly mature and on top of it!! I'm so impressed. You done good!
Change is hard. They're our babies. But obviously the two of you will be more than fine!!
And good luck to him with all of this.
Such phenomenal focus for a young man. I admire his drive and his determination to do what calls to him. Nothing is more powerful than certainty! Imposing my own comfort zone on D-Man? Me? Hell yes! Everyday!
He is a very smart kid/man and I'm sure he will make the right decision for him.
I think all parents at some point or another impose THEIR comfort zones onto their kids, mostly not meaning to.
I'm always telling my daughter "If she thinks she can do, then go for it."
Erin -- I found your site through Google Alerts (words: Naval Academy). As the mom of a current Midshipman (Youngster) -- I sincerely hope Mr. A receives an appointment! However, as the competition is so stiff, I applaud him for looking at other options. BEST of luck to you all and here's hoping that Mr. A is a part of the Class of 2015! GO NAVY!
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