Spin Cycle: One of My Favs

This week for the Spin Cycle we're to pick a favorite post from our archives. Here's a post I wrote about my Sweetie exactly one year ago.

My Sweetie aka The Craziest Man on the Planet Who Loves Me Just the Way I Am

Just look at that smile - you know he's a great guy!

In 2002, seven years ago this week, my Sweetie and I went on our first date. Before I agreed to our lunch date I was very upfront with S. At the time, I was in the middle of a drawn-out divorce that I had planned and prepared for two years. Yes, I’ll say it again, I planned for my divorce for two years. I had two young sons ages 5 & 8 that I needed to provide for and I wanted to keep my house. All of that requires planning and resources.

S was a bachelor. He had never been married and no kids. Why was he interested in me? I wasn’t even looking for a romantic relationship. I was living day-to-day and felt like a I had a fingernail’s grasp on my sanity.

Our lunch date lasted two hours. I was reserved, restrained, reticent, and all those other restrictive words. He was nervous as heck and couldn’t stop fidgeting. After lunch I thought that was the end of it.

That evening I kept replaying the date in my head and found myself smiling and wondering about the strange sensation I kept experiencing. Then it finally dawned on me! I really liked this guy and I was happy. I had to tell someone! My mom was in Amish quilt country and incommunicado so I actually called my sister. Something I never do.

On our third date, I fell totally head over heels in love. Within a month S was in the same category as my children… someone I couldn’t live without. One year later we were engaged. How many people take their children with them while shopping for engagement rings??? The following year in 2004, the boys walked me down the aisle and my Sweetie & I were married.

My Sweetie sold his house and moved into ours so we wouldn’t have to change the boys’ schools. I think we had at least two of everything! We had lots of garage sales and then bought “our” own things.

S jumped into fatherhood with both feet. He’s a natural. In May 2006, he legally adopted the boys and we finally all had the same last name. We celebrate that special day every year on May 30th.

The adoption process was painful and long. We had to do a “diligent search” for my ex-husband. There are about 27 items that the State of Florida requires. (I’m not kidding) After the divorce, I bought him out of his portion of the equity of the house. As soon as he got that check, he dropped off the face of the earth. No alimony, no child support, no visits, no phone calls, no letters, no birthday presents, etc… Now you know why I planned my divorce for so long. I had to be sure that I could stand on my own financially.

In the long run, the absence of that other person has been a blessing. My Sweetie is the boys’ first, true, and only dad. And what a wonderful dad! As the years go by, I see the boys pick-up my Sweetie’s expressions and mannerisms. If I hadn’t been there personally, I would swear that they were both immaculate conceptions.

S is the Love of My Life. He is my anchor. He is crazy for taking on an “instant family”. He is my partner is raising two wonderful young men. He is my WOW!

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