This is a re-post from October 27, 2009.Back in 1997, the boys and I moved to Florida and I bought a house exactly two miles from my parents' house. Ever since then we've been living the extended-family lifestyle. We have had our share of ups & downs over the years but it has definitely been worth it.
The relationship between the boys and their grandparents is wonderful. I truly believe that the kids have kept my parents young and the boys have learned a lot from the Silent Generation. Sure, sometimes I get caught in the middle but I really enjoy watching their interaction.
By the way, how did my parents turn out to be the coolest grandparents ever?
When the boys and I met my Sweetie we also met his parents who lived only 45 minutes north of us. After we were married, our extended family grew some more. The boys suddenly had two sets of really cool grandparents to spoil them.
Then a few years ago, Florida became a magnet for our relatives. My sister-in-law and her family moved down here. The boys finally had a cousin living close by... only 45 minutes south of us.
That's also when holidays started getting a little tricky.
Two years ago, my sister and her family (the hellcats) moved to Florida. They live about an hour north of us. That's when holidays became nearly gosh darn impossible. Our house is centrally located but it's also happens to be the smallest out of all of them. Plus my sister-in-law's in-laws live locally as well. So just add another 17 people into the mix.
Now for the newest immigrant. Today my parents are bringing my aunt from Chicago to Florida to live in an assisted living facility (ALF). The ALF is literally within bicycle distance from our house. The boys are looking forward to visiting her and playing cards. But unfortunately, her mind is on a steady decline. Hence, the move.
All this family close by is a blessing but it also brings a lot of stress. My aunt's move painfully reminds me that one day I will move from the role of child to caregiver. Some days I wonder if my parents over estimate me by choosing me as their medical surrogate.
Thanks for the pressure M&D! It's not like I'm trying to raise two teenage boys here!
Which brings me to my point... the boys and I wouldn't have made it this far in life without my parents. I know when the time comes for me to take care of them, I'll be ready and I'll make them proud.
I guess that's why I'm the responsible daughter.
To read more Spins on the roles we take on, visit Sprite's Keeper.
9 comments:
It may be a repost but still well written and very important. I know how much I miss by living far from family!
Oh the roles we play. Performing one role for one member of the family on one phone call, and flipping things around to perform another role on another phone call just an hour later.
Having a lot of family nearby is actually something I dream of. An hour is okay, but still not close enough. Like a few people have recently written about, I need a village.
That said, I understand that it can get tricky and FAST! But all in all, it is a gift. Ah, family. We'd be nowhere without them.
Very nicely written. It's difficult when the tables turn. It is just as hard on them
(maybe even more so) to lose indepedence an have to accept help as it is for us to reaarange our lives to be where we are needed. Currently, working this out with my MIL.
We are currently being faced with what to do about hubby's mother. My hubby is taking it hard and doesn't like the fact that his mother isn't in charge of everybody anymore. His role is being changed and he wasn't mentally ready for it. Sad.
I know you will be great when it is your turn.
We live hundreds of miles away from my family and my husband's family, and, while that can feel lucky at times, there are definitely times when I regret that my boys will not grow up with the multi-generational perspective that your boys have.
I love when you re-post from before I "knew" you! :)
Oh, do I hear you loud and clear on this one! Although it seems that my sister is the one falling into the caregiver role since she lives closest to my folks. My parents are both pretty healthy, in Karate even, but I always wonder what would happen should something happen (God forbid), and how Lee and I would handle it since I live 2 hours away. Sobering thoughts. I hope your aunt finds it pleasant here. You're linked!
My in-laws live two block down the street, my mom lives within 8 blocks of our house. It has been wonderful for the kids but there are times when we wish there was more space between us. I know I will end up the caregiver to my mom. My brother can't take care of himself, let alone anyone else.
I don't want to have to think about what will happen when my parents get to the place where someone has to take care of them. With two siblings in the state where they live and me 1000 miles away, it's just something I try not to think about. My boyfriend's family operates like yours- they're all here. All 2,537,890 of them. Ok. So there's not that many but 3 of their kids still live here on the ranch.
Family being close by is a real double-edged sword. Like yours, my parents are AMAZING grandparents (I love the Silent Generation moniker, btw. I've never heard that!) but a little bit goes a long way for me.
Anyway, they're in their 70s and carry a pharmacy full of pills with them wherever they go so I've recently been thinking about what would happen if my dad went first (worst possible situation) or my mom went first (better but still difficult). My sister has an autistic son so that's hard to imagine and my brother has a difficult wife ... does that mean it fall to me? I don't know ... but there's no planning for it, I guess. There's just the universe to surrender to ...
Great(re)spin! Thanks!
Post a Comment