For me, the novelty of Facebook wore off a long time ago. I log on every few days to see what’s going on in everybody else’s life. I hardly post anymore. But last week I took some time and I puttered around and found some friends from high school.
I was excited because these friends were more than just friends from high school. These were friends I knew since nursery school. Friends I grew up with in Pines Lake. Sadly, they were also friends that I lost contact with when I first got married 18 years ago. We lost contact partially because I was the only one of the group to move out-of-state… but mostly because my husband at the time made it very difficult for me to carry on friendships.
So, as part of my Gumption initiative, I decided to reach out to these old friends. I started off small with friend requests to three people: Joanie, Ken, and Jen. Right away, Jen confirmed me as a friend and we chatted online for a couple of minutes. I felt great for taking that first step!
Then nothing. I didn’t receive confirmation from Joanie or Ken. A few days went by and still nothing. Then I received a friend request from Joanie’s brother, Rich. I accepted. But still nothing from Joanie or Ken. I thought perhaps they don’t check their Facebook or email very often. However, this morning I logged onto Facebook and saw that Jen and Ken are now friends. What? Well, obviously, he’s been on Facebook! Why hasn’t he accepted my friend request? Did I do something almost 20 years ago to offend him and I don’t know about it?
Now I feel kinda crummy. I set out to renew some old friendships and instead I’m left wondering.
Have you ever been snubbed on Facebook?
Have you ever snubbed someone digital style?
Should I let it drop or should I send messages to Joanie and Ken?
Has anyone else noticed that I automatically thought that I did something wrong? And that I want everyone to be happy? Ugh!
8 comments:
Awww...I have been snubbed some myself. I had a core group of four friends in high school and I found one of the girls around Christmas time and she has yet to confirm our friendship.
I've also had the disappointment of finding a long lost friend and thinking we were going to have this wonderful reunion after she immediately accepted my friend request...and never hearing anything from her again after that even though I sent a long, newsy message to her after we were "friends" again.
I just think that not everyone is the same. Some people have gone through major events or changes, or just be too busy to reconnect. It is hard not to take it personally, but I don't think it's healthy to put too much stock into what happens on facebook.
So many reasons I got rid of FB. My worrying about what someone that I knew 20years ago was thinking is not worth my sanity. We all want to be liked by everyone. But in truth there are people out there that just don't like us for whatever their reason. Not everyone on earth likes ice cream and i'm not going to drive myself crazy trying to convince them they should. It is what it is. You have put your goodness out there you can't make them except it.
That sucks! People sometimes just never evolve, you know? It's their loss, believe me.
It's difficult to not feel rejected. I've had a couple of people ask for friendship and later unfirend me. Of course, I was left wondering if I had posted something they didn't like, shich I couldn't imagine that. Some people also change A LOT! I have reconnected and established some wonderful new friendships. However, my sister has a horror story of one of her reconnections. Try to think of it as maybe they are people better not to reconnect with...we don't always know their current stories. Now, I'd friend you any day, I'd never be a FB snob to you! Chin up, you're most likely better off without their friendship.
You guys are great! With all of my bloggy buddies who needs Facebook??? I have no idea what's going on in the lives of people I knew 20 years ago and I shouldn't take it personally.
Ugh. Sorry this happened to you. At least you have GUMPTION. I am a wuss: I do not send out friend requests at all. Off to read about your G list now. :-)
That stinks. Maybe they are embarassed about where their lives are now and don't want you to see? I could come up with "what ifs" all day. I got snubbed a few weeks ago when I realized a co-worker un-friended me but was still friends with everyone else at the office (she's a fellow Director). It turns out she was posting some things she had reason to be embarassed about and didn't want me to see. I guess it's good that she thinks of me as too professional for that garbage, but it still hurt my feelings
My attitude would be..feeling great that I sent out three requests and gained two new friends out of it. Maybe they have bad memories like I do.
I have two girls from school that sent me requests and seriously I have no clue who they are! I have thought about unfriending them (they hardly talk to me past that first day), but feel that to be rude. I'm a wimp!
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