Yesterday at Publix I ran into the Friendship Vampire. I unknowingly got into the check-out line behind her.
Shit.
I was trapped. I wonder if she saw the look of disappointment/panic run across my face when she called my name rather loudly. We haven’t seen each other in almost a year and only emailed once during the year. She proceeded to tell me everything going on in her life while she checked out, I checked out, and as we walked to our cars in the parking lot.
She told me that her mother will marry an old college boyfriend in Georgia on New Year’s Eve. She told me about her car accident (yes, I was relieved that it wasn’t serious), the resulting herniated disc in her neck, and all about the treatment of said disc with physical therapy and muscles relaxers. I heard about her son’s sinus issues. I also heard how her mom and future step-father were putting up her Christmas tree.
I’m sure there was more but I was distracted by the unnatural whiteness of her teeth. I stood there staring at her teeth as her lips moved wondering if they glowed in the dark.
I finally snapped back to reality when she said that she feels so much better now that she’s finally putting herself first rather than worrying about other people.
WTF?
I shook my head and went home to make Christmas cookies.
8 comments:
Wow, isn't it always amazing when for so many people, it's all about them? What's interesting/ sad is that they can't see it. I'm glad it was just the grocery store line and not a 3 hour flight together or something like that!
I stood there staring at her teeth as her lips moved wondering if they glowed in the dark.-hilarious!I'm surprised you actually heard a word she said!
I'm constantly amazed by people that have no capacity for analyzing their own behavior.
She can get you all caught up on her life in the checkout line, I guess that's why she doesn't need to call or email!
So glad you liked the fudge.
Damn! Why couldn't she just stay in her dark coffin where she belongs?
Isn't it amazing what people will divulge in a line at the grocery store?
What was she doing out in broad daylight anyway?
Isn't that annoying! I haven't encountered one of those in years. Moving to another state and getting an unlisted phone number really helps.
Wait I wasn't at the grocery store yesterday. Life revolves around someone other than me. That is news to me and I do not like it. This must end now.
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