Photo Challenge: Week 9

A few of this week's photos are from our day trip to John's Pass last Sunday. You'll have to wait a little bit to see the photos from Bok Tower Gardens. I just got home and haven't downloaded them yet.

Proudly served

Pelican at John's Pass

Pelican close-up

Sweet tooth

49 Degrees and Raining

The house is quiet with the exception of the rain on the sky light.

The guys have already left for paintball (read as testosterone gluttony). The boys should have fun shooting each other. It will be like the Civil War... brother against brother. I know G-Man will hit his brother a few times for good measure even if they're on the same team. I'm glad I won't be home to see the mess.

Molly has also been dropped of at the Grandparents' house for a day of spoiling. It's a little odd typing this post without her head in my lap.

Now I sit, sip my tea, and wait for Gropius to pick me up for our trip to Bok Tower Gardens. We planned this trip almost two months ago. We picked this date because the azaleas would be in bloom and there's a full-moon, carillon concert tonight. With the recent freezes and today's yucky weather, we're not sure what to expect.

So the camera is packed with an extra battery along with a polar fleece, raincoat, scarf, gloves, a book, and Cheetos. Can't forget the Cheetos. One bag for me, one bag for Gropey.

Have a great weekend and wish us luck with our photos!

Magents, Candies, and Flowers

Today we have beautiful, clear, blue skies. Not a single cloud. The blue is so intense that it almost hurts to look at it. However, it is 57 degrees.

Tomorrow I leave on an all girls’ photography trip. That’s right, my life will be testosterone-free for more than 24 hours.

So then, why did I wake up as Miss Crabby Pants this morning?

Because of the atmosphere in my work place. Since it’s against one of my blogging rules to discuss work, let’s just say that there’s some tension due to different personalities. I’m not part of the tension but it does wear on me. Some days my singular positive attitude isn’t enough to counteract the stress.

By lunch time today, I needed to get out of the office. I needed to get AWAY. I got in the car and I drove. I wasn’t hungry but I knew I needed to eat something – something healthy. For whatever reason, I stopped at Fresh Market.

Through the front door I almost ran into a carousel displaying inspirational greeting cards and magnets. This magnet caught my eye immediately:

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the
world. –Unknown

I immediately thought of my guys (all of them) and got a little choked up. But it was the lift I needed. I added the magnet to my shopping bag. At the deli, I picked up a turkey, apple, and brie wrap for my lunch and proceeded to roam the store. I felt better but I wasn’t ready to head back to the office yet. Then I saw these little candies:

Have you ever had them before? I think they’re simply called Raspberries & Blackberries. When I was little (very little) my mother liked to shop at B. Altman’s. It was the best place to buy ties for my father. In the same shopping mall as B. Altman’s there was a gourmet food shop. If I was a very good girl, I could get some of these candies. I loved them and I still do. I’d pop one in my mouth and hold it there until the nonpareils fall off. Then I’d chew the soft jelly center. Heaven.

Finding these candies today was the other boost to my moral that I needed. Nothing improves one’s attitude like sentimental thoughts of your children and Rockwell-like memories of your own childhood.

That’s when my Lenten promise kicked in and I decided that my co-workers needed a boost (or a kick in the pants) too. I bought a dozen of lush, red roses for my department. I came back to the office with a smile on my face and gave my co-workers their flowers. I hope they feel at least as half as good as I do.

Spin Cycle: Confessions of a Blogger

I have many roles and titles on this earth. I’m Mom, Wife, Daughter, and Friend. I feel confident in all of these roles. Even at my work place I feel confident in all the work that I do.

One title that I still feel a little bit uncomfortable adopting is Blogger. That’s right, I’m a poser. Say it with me… Po-Zure. Sound strange coming from someone who is only a few posts from #400? But it’s true. Blogging is just a hobby for me. I don’t take it too seriously. I try to keep it PG-13 and as a general rule I don’t discuss politics, work, or religion.

Over the past two years I’ve read hundreds of blogs. Some I don’t care for and never visit again. Some blogs I really enjoy and add them to my reader. They make me laugh and make me think. Some bloggers have become my friends. Those are the best kind.

There are a couple of trends I’ve notice in the blogs I visit. Many bloggers are serious writers. Some have even published novels and cookbooks! Also, many bloggers are professional photographers and their everyday photos of their kids are amazing!

I’ve never considered myself a writer. I always disliked writing assignments in school. The only creative writing class I liked was Creative Poetry in college. I took it as a last resort. Once you master iambic pentameter, anything goes. Let’s just say that I definitely won’t write the next great American novel. But at the same time, I enjoy putting my thoughts into words.

Then there’s my “photography.” I take photos of what I like and I have fun. As much as I would LOVE to be the 21st Century version of Margaret Bourke-White, it’s not going to happen.

I’m not a serious blogger. I don’t have my own domain name. I don’t have a professionally designed web page. I’m not planning my media empire. I don’t spend three hours a day on the computer commenting on dozens of blogs. I don’t have hundreds of followers. However, I do get very excited when I get more than five comments!

Truly, the best part of this blogging thing is when one of the kids does something goofy, pauses, then asks, “Oh no, is this going in the blog?”

Check out more online confessions at Sprite's Keeper.

The Baby Dreams

For as long as I can remember I always wanted to be a mother. I wanted four children. But as it turned out, I was blessed with two healthy sons. And no more.

Personally, my favorite part of being pregnant was the intimacy I felt with my child. Long before I ever knew if he was a he or a she, I knew things about each son’s personality. I knew that Mr. A liked to sleep stretched out (with his heel hooked on my lower rib) and I knew that G-Man liked to sleep curled up in a tight ball (on my bladder). They both sleep in the same manners today (minus my body parts).

I loved everything about being a new mom. I loved the feel of my sons’ skin, hearing their contented sighs after nursing, the weight of their tiny bodies in the crook of my arm, the fineness of their hair and it’s scent.

When my Sweetie and I met we talked about more children. I would have loved to share the whole pregnancy experience with him. Instead, we jointly decided that another high-risk pregnancy was too much of a risk. God gave us two sons to raise and that’s what we’re doing.

In retrospect, we now know that I probably wouldn’t have been able to carry a pregnancy to term. My spine probably would have collapsed and I’d be paralyzed. Not a pleasant thought. I can’t carry to full term now either since my spine has been fused. That was one of the stipulations I had to agree to before the surgery.

I enjoy teasing my Sweetie that he purposely married into an “instant family” just so he wouldn’t have to change poopy diapers.

Now that I’ve shared that long intro with you…

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve dreamt that I’ve been happily pregnant and easily had a baby with my Sweetie.

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!

Ever since I turned 40, I’ve pretty much been over baby fever. So I knew that these dreams must have alternative meanings. I did what all my other online blogging buddies have done in recent months, I consulted a dream dictionary. Here’s what it had to say:

To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted.

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

Now I need your help. What does all of this mean for me? How do I figure out what great new beginning or idea am I suppose to develop?

Pelicans and Shrimps

PLRH Family Weekend: Part Deux

Early Sunday morning my brother (Uncle Cool) and nephew (CT) took off for New Jersey. We were all sad to see them go. But a tiny part of me was thrilled that I didn't have to take them to the airport.

We slept in and then woke up to beautiful, blue skies and 70 degrees. A family field trip was in order to get us out of the house. My sinuses were swollen from all the pine and oak pollen so my Sweetie declared that I needed the sea air to feel better.

Going to the beach isn't a typical activity for our family because of my history of skin cancer. Lying out on beach blankets or playing beach volleyball just isn't our thing. So when we head towards the ocean we usually have other things planned.

We took our cameras to John's Pass Village. Which is just that... a village of shops and restaurants located at John's Pass. The pass connects the Gulf of Mexico to the Intercoastal Waterway betweeen Madeira Beach and Treasure Island.



At first, G-Man was a little hesitant about bringing his camera because he didn't want to "look like a tourist." I assured him that all the tourists would be sunburned.

Really, he's having fun.

One of the charter fishing boats had just come in and the crew was cleaning their catch for the guests to take home. Waiting in anticipation of the scraps, an entire flotilla of pelicans was in position just off the pier. It was a great opportunity to get up close photos of these interesting sea birds. But then I got a nagging feeling. I wondered if these pelicans have become too dependent on the cast-offs from humans. There were dozens of birds mooching for their lunch and I wanted to know if they could hunt for fish on their own. As I studied the pelicans more closely, I noticed that they were tagged with little ankle bracelets. That reassured me a little bit because now I know that someone is tracking their well-being.

This snowy egret is for Krista at Picture Imperfect.

Ever notice that when you try to get a photo of a bird in flight you always get the south end of a north bound bird?

After we had our fill of photo taking, we headed to Bubba Gump's for lunch. We couldn't wait to eat some fresh shrimps.

That's right, I just wrote shrimps.

In Louisiana, the plural of shrimp is shrimps. Over the years, it has become a family joke. Shrimps is only one of the two words in the English language that I knowingly use improperly.

Lunch was bliss and we were all up to our elbows in shrimps. We finished eating just in time because the wind shifted and we needed to head home. But there was time for one last photo...

"My name is Forrest, Forrest Gump."

Prospecitve Students and Blankets

PLRH Family Weekend: Part I

The weather this past weekend was a little closer to the seasonal norm. Saturday we were able to wear short sleeves and Sunday we donned shorts and hats. But those of you with snow piled up at the end of your driveways don’t want to hear about 70-degree-weather with bright blue skies.

My brother from New Jersey was in town on business again but this time brought my nephew along and stayed the weekend. CT (my nephew) is a junior in high school and considering going to college in Florida. Saturday morning my brother, nephew, husband, and eldest son all went to USF for the walking tour. Mr. A’s first choice is still the Naval Academy but USF is one of his runner-ups since it’s an in-state school, has an excellent Engineering school, and has Navy ROTC.

While those four were learning about campus life, G-Man, my parents and I went to Project Linus drop off day.

My mother makes quilts all throughout the year for various reasons. I would estimate that 75% of her quilts go to charity. Project Linus is one of those charities that receives my mother’s quilts. Each local chapter of Project Linus distributes the donated blankets, afghans, and quilts to local organizations that provide services to children in need.

This year has been an amazing year. Project Linus is a registered charity with Disney’s Give a Day, Get a Day volunteer program. People came from everywhere donating handmade “woobies.” Saturday it was our job to help process all of the donations. Each blanket needed to be labeled with a Project Linus label, sorted by size, and packaged up.

We had 11 people on sewing machines attaching labels and just as many folks trimming threads, folding, counting, and packing. G-Man sewed labels with gusto as he jammed to his iPod. My mom trimmed threads. My dad folded and counted. There was a young man sewing away in order to earn his Eagle Scout rank. A red-headed girl of about 11 learned how to use a sewing machine for the first time and decided she really liked it. I sat next to an 80-something-year-old lady who kept pace with the rest of us.



It was a whirlwind morning and I was sore since I haven’t been behind a sewing machine in several months. But it was sew worth it (pun intended). My best guess is that in the three hours we were there we must have processed 600 blankets.

Later that afternoon we all regrouped at my parents' house to celebrate my father's birthday. In case anyone is counting, my mom and I were outnumbered 6 to 2. Once she and I realized this, we went out to buy yarn and left the guys to their male bonding activities.

Mr. A, CT, and G-Man aka Da Punks

UPDATE: We processed 836 blankets on Saturday for Project Linus!

Photo Challenge: Week 8

This week's photos were taken in and around my parents' house:

Wildflower

Male bonding

Princess Molly

Spanish Moss

Agua

Blowin' in the wind

A Pig Says...

An actual conversation in our house...

Sweetie (to the boys): If you want your cousin to spend the night, you will clean those pig stys you live in.

Mr. A: Moooooooooooooooooooooo!

Sweetie (to Mr. A): Moo?

Mr. A: Oh, my bad... Oink.

Sweetie (to me): Didn't this kid have a See -n- Say when he was little?

Spin Cycle: I can't live without it!

From time to time, fashion magazines will poll celebrities about which single beauty product they would take with them if stranded on a deserted island. If they ever asked me, my answer would always be the same – sunscreen.

But polls like that always make me wonder, What product could I NOT live without? My first gut reaction would be Coca-Cola... Or would it be lip balm?

Of course, this question excludes all life-sustaining medications for chronic illnesses such as: heart conditions, diabetes, asthma, etc…

What about the creature comforts? I LOVE indoor plumbing and air conditioning as much as the next girl. But if you think about it people survived for thousands of years without those luxuries. I bet even I would eventually learn to do without.

So I ask myself, which item do I use on a daily basis that makes a difference in the grander scheme of things? The one item that stands out is my Sigg bottle. Actually, I have two of these eco-friendly aluminum water bottles. I have a 0.6 liter size for this time of year and a one liter size for summer or outdoor activities.

I take my Sigg with me and refill it at water coolers and drinking fountains. During an average day I drink at least three liters of water. If I drank bottled water all the time, I would go through 3 – 6 bottles a day. Even if I recycle all of those bottles, the energy required to recycle that much plastic would be wasteful. Think about it… that’s a minimum of 1,000 plastic bottles a year.

The Sigg bottles are also virtually indestructible. My Sweetie and each of the boys have all had their Siggs for over a year and haven’t destroyed them yet. If the day comes when we need to lay a Sigg to rest, it’s completely recyclable!

Update: When the Sigg/BPA story broke last summer I checked our Sigg bottles and we have the BPA-Free liners in ours. So I'm still ok with supporting this company.

Now it’s your turn. What’s your favorite eco-friendly product?

For more items in the Spin Cycle, visit Sprite’s Keeper.

Do More Not Less

Mardi Gras is over for another year. Today is Ash Wednesday and the first day of Lent. I’m not a particularly religious person but I do find comfort in following the traditions that I learned as a child.

Last year I approached Lent with a different point of view. Rather than self-denial, I decided to focus my efforts doing more positive things. I don’t feel that I did a stellar job last year.

This year I want to try my positive outlook Lenten plan again. I plan to keep my positive attitude going, remind my friends near and far that I’m here to listen, give co-workers encouragement, give the kids extra hugs and kisses (whether they want them or not), and commit random acts of kindness.

After 40 days, these actions may even become good habits!

And maybe, just maybe if I try hard, I’ll be able to cut some of the refined sugars out of my diet as well.

Photo: Betsy Hays, Laurelwood Arboretum

You Know You're a Mom When...

We've all seen similar lists for various categories. This list is based on my own experience. I've done all these things and then thought, I'm such a mom.

You know you're a mom of an infant when...

... you only have one leg shaved at a time.

...you're ecstatic to make it out of the house without having to change clothes three times.

...the diaper bag doubles as your purse.

...you can open a door with your hip, navigate a toddler and a stroller through the doorway without losing your grip on either one.

You know you're a mom of young children when...

...a co-worker points out that you have oatmeal in your hair.

...you select a restaurant based on whether or not chicken fingers are on the menu.

...you can sing along to Radio Disney.

...you want Kim Possible's cell phone ring as your ringtone.

...you have Green Eggs & Ham memorized.

Generally, you know you're a mom when...

...you buy Band-Aids in bulk.

...you call your youngest child by the dog's name.

...your favorite snack is a cheese stick.

...you're not surprised when you find Legos, K'nex, acorns, rocks, dead frogs, sharks' teeth, golf tees, and wire nuts in the clothes dryer.

...you buy an extra copy of the latest Harry Potter novel to read yourself.

...you shout "Punch Buggy! Yellow convertible!" and then realize that no one else is in the car.

C'mon, fess up and share some of your "You know you're a mom when..." moments!

PLRH Family Scrabble

Scrabble and crossword puzzles are a great way for kids to work on their vocabulary and spelling. For the longest time, G-Man and I did the online crossword puzzle for the local newspaper each night. I now carry a pocket crossword puzzle book in my purse for those times when I get stuck waiting.

We started the kids off with Junior Scrabble but it didn’t take long for them to graduate to regular Scrabble. But after a few rounds, we all tend to get a little bored. One night we decided to tweak the rules a little bit. If you know our family, you know that we can’t leave anything alone.

For any school teachers that may be reading this, I apologize.

To play PLRH Family Scrabble follow the standard Scrabble rules with these variations:

All words put into play must be completely fictitious. Not even Harry Potter words are allowed.

The player must be able to pronounce the word, provide a definition, and use it in a sentence. In other words, you’ve got to sell it.

Other players may challenge the word. If found in the agreed upon dictionary, the player loses a turn.

Here are a few words that have been created during past PLRH Family Scrabble games (we always record them):

• Jennih – a peppery tasting herb

• Bidrinner – a type of sled

• Sarrik – a small, one-person sailboat

• Andux – a small, wooden flute made in Djibouti, Africa

• Wabsolab – a bright yellow, perennial flower native to Norway

• Focur – a Turkish chandelier with ornate lead glass design

• Kaghef – an antique china gravy boat

The guys were excited about playing a game of PLRH Family Scrabble tonight but we can’t find the board game anywhere in the house. Scrabble is UA (unaccounted for). Now my shopping list for tomorrow includes: spicy mustard, sandwich bags, Scrabble, and dog food. Oh, and tea.

Photo Challenge: Week 7

Iron Heart


Always open the top of a gas grill before lighting. You never know what might be inside.


No need to wash the truck today.

After the rain

Happy Valentine's Day!

Response to Reading List Request

I originally posted this as a follow-up comment to my post My Reading List Needs Help! But when I realized just how long my response was I decided to post directly to the blog.

Thank you everyone for the reading suggestions. It's nice to know that the visitors to my blog have similar tastes in books. For example:

Jan - I've read every Anya Seton novel that I can get my hands on. The Winthrop Woman is my favorite. It is quite possibly the best book I've ever read.

Nancy - I've also read the entire Outlander series. I enjoy HUGE books also. Shogun was great and 1,600 pages!

Wendy - I read Marley & Me while I was doped-up after my back surgery. I might have to revisit that one.

Gropey - I've seen Three Cups of Tea in the store but never picked it up. Perhaps you can loan it to me when you're finished, pretty please?

Kristen - Through Anya Seton I found Phillipa Gregory. I enjoyed the Other Boleyn Girl... so much better than the movie. I'll have to check out the People of the Book. I haven't heard of that one.

KB - Yes, I've read Pillars of the Earth and World Without End and loved them both. My husband gave me a hard time because I had nightmares about the plague while reading the second book. I've also read The Templar Legacy. My father has loaned all sorts of Templar related books to me. Also, I will have to check out Burr. Especially since an ancestor of mine shot him.

Thank you for all the other suggestions. I will take a look at all of them. I prefer supporting my local book store but this might require a visit to Amazon. I also think that I might need to step outside my comfort zone a little bit to find some new books.

My Reading List Needs Help!

Reading is an escape from everyday life for me. I’m not a big fan of TV (unless a Star Trek or BSG marathon happens to be on). Usually, I’d much rather read. My novels of choice are historical fiction. I enjoy being transported to another time, place, and culture. Sometimes I even learn something! Typically, I avoid novels set in a contemporary setting since reading is my escape from what’s on the news, etc… I particularly don’t like the “chick-lit” novels such as the Shopaholic series. Those are just too dim-witted for me.

The last four books I’ve read have all been really good books. But they’ve also been a little too heart-heavy for me. I’m not sure if that’s a real term but I couldn’t think of any other way to describe them. These past few books have included a fiery car crash (in detail), an Indian massacre (in detail), and all other sorts of tragedies.

The last light-hearted book I read was The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. I loved this book. It was a wonderful story that left me with all sorts of warm and fuzzy feelings. By the time I finished it, I was researching a possible trip to the Guernsey Channel Islands.

A couple of weeks ago I walked into our small, local, independently owned book shop to look for a book. The sales clerk offered some suggestions. But when I told her that I wanted light-hearted she put away The Lovely Bones and Shutter Island. I picked up Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. The clerk told me that she had read other books by the author and enjoyed them. She had even met the author. The book jacket described the plot as the lifelong friendship between two women through the ups and downs of life.

Take a look at the lovely cover…



Beautiful, isn't it?

I believe that the phrase “Never judge a book by its cover” was coined specifically for this book. It’s a wonderfully written book and I did cry towards the end. But when I started the book I was relaxed and my guard was down. Then came Chapter 2 – Foot Binding. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan takes place in 19th-century rural China and I was a aware of food binding. I just wasn’t expecting an entire chapter on the process IN DETAIL. As an outsider, I view it as a horrific custom. But in the context of the novel it is vital to the storyline. This ancient custom (that’s thankfully no longer in practice) affects the characters’ lives both directly and indirectly. If you are prepared, I would highly recommend this novel.

Which brings me to my true purpose of this post… I need some reading suggestions! I’m looking for a book that will give that warm and fuzzy feeling again without being mindless. I picked-up The Book of Lost Things yesterday at my local book shop but I haven’t started it yet.

Do you have any recommendations? Please?

How to confuse a 13 yr. old

A typical conversation in our house...

G-Man: What do we need to get at Target?

Me: The first thing on my list is mousse…

G-Man: You’re going to buy a moose at Target?

Me: No, mousse is something I put in my hair.

G-Man: Oh, so it’s shampoo.

Me: No, I put it in before I blow dry my hair to help style it.

G-Man: So it’s gel.

Me: No, it’s actually a foam.

G-Man: Is it spelled like moose?

Me: No, it’s French. It has a “U” in it.

G-Man: So it’s spelled mouse?

Me: No, two “S”s.

G-Man: Mouses?

Me: M-o-u-s-s-e

G-Man: Do I need to use mousse?

Me: No, most boys don’t use mousse unless you’re the Bee Gees

G-Man: Who are the Bee Gees?

Ugh.

The Good, The Bad & The Babysat

Maureen over at Island Roar blogged about the Babysitting Blues today. As I left my comment, I was flooded with memories of being the babysat and the babysitter.

I was torture for my babysitters. I started crying the moment my parents left until I exhausted myself and passed out. Looking back, I remember these sweet teenage girls (who taught me swimming lessons in the summer) trying EVERYTHING in their bag of tricks to distract me from my woes. My parents still refer to my past babysitters as “the poor Kelly girls.”

I wouldn't be surprised if the circle of babysitters in Pines Lake blacklisted my house. My “Other Mother” across the street was the only person who could keep me from thinking that the world was coming to an end because my parents left the house. But since my parents often went out with their friends across the street, my “Other Mother” was rarely my evening babysitter. In fact, I don't think my parents went out much until my brother was old enough to be in charge.

When I reached high school I got certified in first aid and CPR then hung out my babysitting shingle. There were plenty of opportunities in Pines Lake. Unfortunately, karma remembered my name and exacted revenge on me on behalf of the Kelly sisters.

Yes, I had my share of holy terrors.

I think karma paid me back with interest. But once my dues were paid, I was rewarded with some really good kids. My favorite memory is of a family that lived down by the bridge. They had three children. The oldest was a 9-year-old boy that played video games and more or less ignored me because I was a girl. Then there was the 6-year-old girl who always wanted me to brush and braid her hair. Finally, the 4-year-old boy was my little sweetheart.

The first time I put the little guy to bed I tucked him in, said goodnight, and headed for the door. As I reached for the light switch he screamed, “NO!” I thought, Great one that’s afraid of the dark. Then he innocently asked, “Aren't you going to kiss me goodnight?” I never had this request from the little demons I had babysat before. I walked back to the bed and leaned down. He threw his arms around my neck and kissed me full on the lips. Then he said, “Goodnight” and snuggled under the covers. I was stunned. It was the sweetest thing that had ever happened to me while watching someone else’s children.

Do you have any good babysitting stories to tell as the kid, the sitter, or the parent?

Spin Cycle: Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day has always been one of those iffy holidays for me. The importance of it to me has waxed and waned over the years.

My earliest memory of Valentine’s Day was sitting at the kitchen table early one weekend morning with my older brother and sister. Our parents were still asleep and we were industriously making Valentines for them. I was in kindergarten and needed some assistance making the shape of a heart. My sister wouldn’t help so I sat and I waited. My brother, who was is 8th grade, told me that a real heart is about the shape and size as your fist. So I traced my fist, cut it out, and glued it to my card for my parents. I’m sure they had no idea what they were looking at when they opened their Valentine. Perhaps they were wondering if they needed to have a psychological screening done on me.

All through elementary school I creatively decorated my “mailbox” that sat on my desk to receive the store bought Valentines that my classmates and I exchanged. In high school I always hoped that a secret admirer would send me one of the carnations that the National Honor Society sold on Valentine’s Day. I got one once but it was from a friend of mine wishing me to feel better after having mono. Oh well.

Then there was college. My mother was ever faithful and sent me the red-foiled-wrapped chocolate hearts I loved from my favorite candy store back home. But I was really excited because my freshman year in college was the first Valentine’s Day that I had a serious boyfriend. I knew it would be the most romantic day EVER!

Guess what. I can’t remember a darn thing. Blast those brain termites. Last night I texted my college boyfriend (yes, we’re friends on Facebook) to ask him. The only thing he can remember is that we went out to an Italian restaurant.

Once Mr. A and G-Man came into my life, they were always my Valentines and they still are. They’re teenagers now and yet again they’re going to get a funny & sappy card from their mother.

My Sweetie and I met in the month of March. By the time our first Valentine’s Day came around we had been together for almost a full year. We had been talking about the future and marriage. That first Valentine’s night we stayed in and cooked dinner together. I really thought a ring and a proposal would be part of the evening. Nope. What my Sweetie lacks in romance he makes up for in practicality. He gave me a funny card and a little stuffed dog that night. I believe G-Man quickly made the stuffed dog his own.

S and I still exchange funny cards every Valentine’s Day because well, it’s fun. But other than that, we don’t fall into the hype and commercialism created by the florists, greeting card industry, jewelers, restaurants, and candy makers.

We have our own ways of telling each other how much we love each other every single day. We don’t need the calendar to remind us.

What’s your most memorable Valentine’s Day?

This week I participated in the Spin Cycle hosted by Sprite’s Keeper. For more spins on Valentine’s Day visit Sprite’s Keeper.

Nature vs. Nurture

What plays a bigger roll in shaping our personality? Are we a product of our environment? Or is it the roll of the DNA dice?

This is a very old question that has been debated back and forth by educators, psychologists, and parents.

Counting the time since my very first positive pregnancy test I’ve been a mother for 17 years and 7 days. During that time I read one book on parenting. You know the one, the baby manual for the newborn, What to Expect the First Year. I needed to know things like when to start baby on solid foods. Which solid foods come first. After that, I went on instinct and what I remembered from my own childhood.

Yes, parenting has evolved over the years. Our parents put us down on our tummies to sleep. We put our babies down on their sides with a towel rolled up behind their backs. Did you ever ride buckled into a car seat? I didn’t. But our children did because it’s what’s safer.

Are my parenting skills innately encoded in me by genetics or is this what I learned by how my parents raised me? In my personal case it’s difficult to make the distinction because I was raised by my natural parents. So in a way, nature and nurture are the same.

Then I look at my own children and I wonder.

For those of you who don’t know, my ex-husband is the sperm donor (aptly named by the boys) of my children. One of the major reasons for wanting a divorce from him was the realization that I didn’t want my sons to grow up to be like him. That is a very harsh realization. Thankfully, it was a very timely one.

After the sperm donor received the check for his portion of the equity in the house, he fell off the face of the earth. No contact or knowledge of his whereabouts for the past eight years. As you might guess, I made a good decision.

My Sweetie is the first and only father the boys have known. We have been raising them together for six years now. My Sweetie legally adopted the boys in May 2006. Yes, I would be very proud for my sons to grow up to be the type of man my husband has become.

It wasn’t until I made that harsh realization so many years ago have I wondered about the nature vs. nurture question. Will nature override nurture? I have been hyper-aware of this question in the upbringing of the boys.

Mostly I’ve worried about Mr. A because he had more exposure to the sperm donor. G-Man doesn’t even remember him. Mr. A also has another unfair disadvantage of looking remarkably like the sperm donor. G-Man totally looks like my side of the family.

Occasionally, I would have to stop and shake my head when I saw Mr. A with a particular expression on his face, heard a certain tone in voice, or noticed the way he gestured with his hands. I would look at my son’s bright blue eyes (not green) and the sparkle in his smile and know that he is his own person.

I’ve always felt that as parents it’s our job to make our children ready for the real world. Both my Sweetie and I agree that we’re almost there with Mr. A. Good thing too since he’s going to meet the real world in less than 17 months.

But then this past weekend an incident occurred and I got upset with the way Mr. A handled it. At first I was upset with my son but logically I knew that wasn’t fair. I was upset because it reminded me of a situation with the sperm donor.

Panic started to seep in. What if nature is the winner after all???

Before I could get too spun up I talked to my husband about it. After a little bit of discussion out in the garage as he tinkered on my truck, we distilled the true essence of the situation.

I remember my ex-husband’s behavior as being childish, selfish, and immature. He was a 30 year old man acting like a 16 year old boy.

Mr. A is a 16 year old boy acting like… guess what… a 16 year old boy! How he handled the situation was perfectly normal and natural. The added bonus is that he actually learned and matured from the situation.

So we must be doing an okay job, right?

What are your thoughts on nature vs. nurture? Any experiences to share?

Photo Challenge: Week 6

This week's group of photos is a study in black & white (plus one color shot at the end). I'd like to learn more about the photojournalism style of photography. But I'm wondering if that is more of an innate talent rather than an acquired skill.

Plus my shots this week are rather limited because of the whole asthma thing.

Facebooking

A bowl full of love

The Barber Shop
G-Man always looks like he's in so much pain when he gets his hair cut.

Wise Guy

Maple tree bark

Maple tree

TR

Theodore Roosevelt was the 26th President of the United States.

How many of you know that from the movie Night at the Museum?

Teddy Roosevelt was also many other things. Just to name a few he was: a rancher, a conservationist, Governor of NY, a Rough Rider, a volunteer soldier, a Medal of Honor winner, a Nobel Peace Prize winner, Secretary of the US Navy, the man who finally got the Panama Canal built, a family man, a naturalist, an honest man, the establisher of anti-trust acts, the establisher of the first police academy, the establisher of the National Parks system, and a Harvard man.

He led a rich and full life.

Did you also know that he had childhood asthma? In the 19th century, anyone with asthma was confined to quiet indoor activities such as reading. An active life out of doors was not encouraged. The only known treatment for the symptoms for asthma at the time was alcohol. It would dilate the capillaries in the lungs allowing better oxygen exchange and would also help relax the bronchial spasms. Teddy was often administered whisky for his condition and quickly became addicted before his teen years.

Luckily, TR was a strong willed child and wanted to do and see all the things outside that he read about in books. He kicked the bottle habit and went out in the world to embrace life. He was able to overcome his childhood asthma with lots of physical activity or as he called it the” strenuous outdoor life.”

Teddy Roosevelt was a remarkable man and he was married to a remarkable woman, Edith. Because of her, the White House now has the West Wing. At the time of TR’s presidency, the Executive Offices were located on the second floor of the White House. The First Family living space consisted of only two rooms. It was cramped quarters with six children. One day, Edith had more than enough and went on a rampage. She supposedly tossed typewriters out of second-story windows and told all the office workers to get out as she reclaimed the upstairs bedrooms. Teddy simply called up the Army and asked them to bring over some surplus tents to set up on the lawn. The tents served as the Executive Offices until the West Wing was built.

If you would like to learn more about Theodore Roosevelt, read H. W. Brands' biography T.R.: The Last Romantic.

Vocab Lesson

Here are a few fun sounding words:

Hiatus: a break or interruption in the continuity of a work, series, action, etc.
Exacerbate: to increase the severity of; aggravate
Spew: to cast forth, gush, or eject
Jiggy: active; excitedly energetic

Now let's use them all in a sentence:

The oak & pine trees are getting jiggy, spewing pollen into the air, and therefore exacerbating my asthma so much that I plan to take a hiatus from blogging for a few days.

It's Groundhog Day!

Ned? Ned Ryerson?

Groundhog Day is my favorite Bill Murray movie. My only wish is that it had been released before I attended college in western Pennsylvania.

You see, I was the redhead from New Jersey. I wasn’t of German descent. I had never said the phrase “yous guys.” Nor had I ever heard the word “yins.”

But what really made people stare at me in disbelief was the fact that I didn’t know that the furry, little, weather-predicting groundhog that comes out every February 2nd was named Phil and that he lived in a town called Punxsutawney, PA. (Yes, you have to say PA after the name of the town).

Once I revealed my blissful ignorance of Phil’s personal bio, I feared that I was about to be cast out of campus life with a scarlet P emblazoned on my chest. All of these Pennsylvanians insisted that Phil was world-famous! They finally relented when I was able to produce and Irish foreign-exchange student that was just as ignorant as me. Thank goodness!

These folks sure are passionate about their groundhog!

This year the little bugger predicted six more weeks of winter. I'm sure some of you aren't too thrilled about that. But what does Phil care? Last I heard he lives the cushy life in the public library.

Keep warm!

What Makes You Happy?

I like a positive attitude. I believe a positive attitude makes all the difference in one's outlook on life.

By no means am I the super bubbly, hyper, cheerleader type. I get down in the dumps at times. But I'd like to think that my overall perception on life is positive.

Because of that I don't like to be around people who are chronically negative. Sure we all need to vent from time to time and we all get annoyed on occasion. But I'm talking about the person who constantly harps negatively on a subject. Or the person that can always find the tiny sliver of a situation that will negatively impact them personally.

Do you know anyone like that? Isn't it emotionally draining to be around a person like that? Do you ever wonder what it is about their lives that makes them so unhappy?

Lately, I've had a lot of interaction with negativity and it's really dragged me down. Today I thought to myself:

This is really silly. I have a wonderful, happy, healthy home life. Why am I letting things outside my home make me so upset?

So I've decided to share with you some of the things that make me happy and I want to hear some of yours.

In no particular order, here are a few wonderful things about my life:

• My husband is my best friend.
  
  
• Our house is safe, healthy, and comfy.
  
  
• My husband and I know our children better than anyone.
  
  
• I love and respect our children.
  
  
• I know our children love and respect us.
  
  
• My children have fantastic relationships with both my parents and my mother-in-law.
  
  
• I trust my children.
  
  
• I know my children's friends.
  
  
• We have the sweetest dog in the world.
  
  
• My parents and MIL are healthy.
  
  
• Every night I fall asleep holding my husband's hand.

Now it's your turn. What makes you happy?