Last Friday I attended a work-related function. People sat around chit-chatting before the program started. I eavesdropped on the group sitting at the table next to me. I really couldn’t help it because they were so loud. Plus they were discussing sculpture and I was interested.
Imagine six extremely wealthy retirees… two men and four women. All the women wore diamond rings that could have doubled as boat anchors…
Man #1: Have any of you seen that the sculpture park at Five Points is finished?
Woman #1: I live at Five Points. My condo overlooks the park.
Woman #2: My penthouse overlooks the bay.
Woman #3: The Five Points Park would be nicer if there was more lighting at night. Maybe there wouldn’t be so many homeless people.
Man #2: You’ll only see the homeless people better with more lighting.
Woman #1: They’ve added more lighting to the park... those twinkle lights. It’s very pretty at night.
Woman #3: If people would just stop feeding the homeless, they would leave. People are out there feeding them every morning and every night.
At that point, I was blatantly staring at Woman #3. I really wanted to scream at her,
“These are people you’re talking about! Not pigeons!”
But it would have been very unprofessional of me and probably wouldn’t have changed this person’s opinion. Luckily, I was saved by the start of the presentation.
As I’ve said before, I usually don’t discuss social issues in an open forum (or at a business meeting with a complete stranger) mostly because I’m not big on confrontations. Yes, I’m a wuss like that. But that woman’s words really struck me to the bone and I’ve had a knot churning in my stomach for days.
I’m not sure which upsets me more: a) That I didn’t speak up and defend my fellow man or b) That my fellow man would voice such a coarse opinion in “polite” company.
****
Your Turn
What would you have done if you overheard a conversation like that? Speak up in disagreement? Be quiet and fume about it later? Ignore the whole thing? Agree?
9 comments:
It's amazing what people say and truly think is acceptable! You were probably right though, they would not truly have "heard" you if you'd have spoken up. There have been times when certain people in my "in-law" family have expressed equally/or worse opinions about things I believe strongly about. After a few times of speaking up I learned that those opinions are so ingrained that I just appear "fiesty" and don't really affect change in their attitudes. I speak up some, but more often I don't because I have realized with this particular group, it sadly serves no purpose
The fact that you put Polite company in quotes is very appropriate. Just because people have money, live in and go to fancy places doesn't make them polite. I have to admit that I've been known to have several stereo types myself. I try to keep my opinion to myself when I'm in public though.
Individuals like the above described make me SICK!
I, too, am a public wuss. I fume about it after the fact.
HOWEVER, What better way to right a social wrong than feed the people. This would just cause me to be the offender. I'd be the one feeding all comers. It would be good food too. I won't serve anyone anything I won't eat myself.
When speaking up does nothing but get you in trouble, it also doesn't help anyone. But I'm right there with you. I can't tell you how many times I've kept my mouth shut and hated myself for it. We were just talking about the homeless today as we walked in downtown Sarasota near Whole Foods. The shop owners there are complaining that the homeless are making their businesses suffer. Some wonder if it's the hefty price tags on their luxury items.
I probably would have done exactly what you did. Listen intently, feel my blood boiling, then say nothing. And then? Yes, blog about it. It amazes me that people can be so conspicuously insensitive.
I wouldn't have spoken up either. As other people said above, it wouldn't have made a difference to them, as their beliefs are most likely deeply ingrained and an angry stranger isn't likely to change them.
Still, though, sometimes I just want to take people by the shoulders and shake them.
LOL, you know what I think already, but I'll say it anyway ;-) - feeding them encourages them to congregate and to breed. San Francisco is VERY hospitable to the homeless, and they're absolutely infested with them. We have homeless here in the jungle, but we don't go out of our way to encourage them to congregate or to stay, which feeding them would do.
Look at Haiti. Billions in food aid every year, and their birthrate is enormous (nearly 4 kids per woman, https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/ha.html) By comparison, Canada's birthrate is only 1.58 kids per woman. By continuously feeding Haiti, other nations merely encourage them to breed more. More food = more mouths. It's counterproductive, but people are very hesitant to acknowledge that. They'd rather assuage their guilt by giving more money to the UN and then pretending they've done something to help.
Woops, forgot you're here in the jungle too! LOL - I'm used to hearing such angst from Canadians (Vancouverites, particularly). Silly Canadians.
I probably would have done the same thing as you, not said anything and kicked myself later for it. It would probably be the best thing for me to do as I am not noted for my tact and diplomacy.
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