G-Man is suffering from Second Child Syndrome. He’s almost 15 years old, a little bit on the surly side, and full of attitude. Who can really blame him? All the talk in the house for the past several months has been about taking his older brother to the US Naval Academy in June. We’ve been planning Mr. A’s going away party but haven’t mentioned G-Man’s birthday party (His birthday is June 25th and we leave on our road trip on the 27th.)
Heck, if I was a sibling of Mr. A’s I’d be sick and tired of hearing about him too.
I used to joke that I was glad that we didn’t have any more children after G-Man because I didn’t want him to be the middle child. I’m the youngest of three. My sister is the middle child in our family. I always felt that she had a chip on her shoulder about the whole birth order thing. But I never expected being the second child would be an issue with G-Man.
It’s true the first-born child gets the undivided attention of Mom and Dad until the next sibling shows up. The second child rarely gets that one-on-one time. That’s why I so looked forward to Mr. A going to preschool after his brother was born and I could have G-Man all to myself for a few hours a morning, three days a week.
G-Man has always lived in his brother’s shadow. We’ve tried to reinforce to G-Man that he is a different person than his brother and had his own unique talents. We’ve raised both boys the same way morally and expect each of them to try their best in whatever they do. We’ve also explained to the boys that the results of their best efforts will be different for each of them.
While I’ve been trying to cram in as much quality time with Mr. A before he leaves in June, I’m also looking forward to when G-Man will be our only kid in the house. I want to spend one-on-one time with my youngest son again. I want to try to draw him out of shell once and for all.
But in the meantime, I don’t know what to do. G-Man accompanied me on my bike ride last night and I tried to talk to him about his birthday but I didn’t get much of a response. Should I just hold tight until G-Man has the spotlight all to himself?
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Your Turn
Do you have any suggestions for what I should do with G-Man? Do you think that birth order affects personality? Where are you in the birth order?
5 comments:
I'm the oldest of four and have all the typical traits of a first-born. Because of that, I think I'm hyper-sensitive and try to not put too much responsibility on my oldest, give lots of one-on-one time with my middle and be just as strict with my youngest. But, alas, we always seem to fall effortlessly into the stereotypical patterns. No matter how hard I try not to.
G-Man lives in his own space. Like someone else you know. They are well adjusted and loveable. They will talk when they are ready. Gentle proding is always ok. Birth order does and doesn't matter. By birth I'm the youngest but was raised as the middle. I'm totally a middle child. Like your sister I have a chip the size of Texas.
I hadn't even thought about how birth order will affect our kid's personalities. That is definitely something I will be thinking about now...
I'm the complete opposite of the stereotypical younger child. I was the responsible one, and I never was social or carefree.
My girls, however, are following the pattern. Miss D. is intense and driven and M. is easy breezy.
I think G-man is going to be just fine :)
Two is the best number. One means they'll be spoiled. Three means the middle child often have issues (psychologists will tell you that too). Two means they're never alone, though they often won't get along well either.
I would try to draw out G-Man again about his birthday, but if he resists again, drop it until his brother is out of the picture, if possible.
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