I Did It

Note: The Blogger software platform experienced some technical difficulty this week and my post from Wednesday was lost along with the comments. Blogger is back up and running and is working on restoring the lost posts. But just to be on the safe side, I decided to re-post I Did It.

All of my life I wanted to be a Mom. Sure, at various points in time I wanted to be an archeologist, a museum curator, a forest ranger, a medical illustrator, an interior design, a chef, an international businessperson (whatever that might be), and a kindergarten teacher. But through the years my desire to be a Mom was constant.

So I didn’t pursue any of the above mentioned occupations but I did become Mom in October 1993. Then I became a Mom again in June 1996. I would have liked to have had four children but that just wasn’t in the cards.

I saw my job as Mom to love, nurture, protect, and guide. My ultimate goal was to raise two healthy, happy, considerate, well-adjusted young men who would be productive members of society. Two men who might one day eventually become loving & respectful husbands and fathers.

I didn’t read parenting books or magazines. I didn’t have the internet as a resource. I didn’t watch talk shows. I went forth in my role as Mom on pure instinct. I learned my parenting skills through example from my parents. I’ve never done anything so naturally, so innately as mothering.

But I was up against a huge obstacle – the Not-So-Nice person I originally married. He tried to put plenty of barriers in my way. Ten years of an abusive marriage. Nine years of PTSD and recovery. I was still a Mom though. I still had my goal and the things that Not-So-Nice person did made me even more determined to do my job well.

Now I have the privilege of sharing this parenting gig with the love of my life. My wonderful husband is a totally awesome Dad. Last night at the Scholar Athlete awards ceremony for the high school, we did a little fist bump when Mr. A was awarded the Overall Male Scholar Athlete of the Year.

Then as I thought about our TWO FANTASTIC SONS last night, a strange feeling started to come over me. A surreal, overwhelming feeling. A feeling that I didn’t understand. A feeling that I couldn’t comprehend.

Finally, this morning the Universe slapped me upside the head and at last I understood.

I DID IT. I’m successful. I’m successful as a Mom.

What did I do when I had the epiphany that I realized my life-long goal?

Simple. I sat at a red light and cried as I stared at the “Navy Mom” bumper sticker on the car in front of me.