People Not Pigeons

Normally, I don’t write about work on my blog (PLRH Blog Rule #1) or discuss social issues (because I’m a wuss) but I overheard something and it’s been eating away at me. So the best thing I can do is get it out there.

Last Friday I attended a work-related function. People sat around chit-chatting before the program started. I eavesdropped on the group sitting at the table next to me. I really couldn’t help it because they were so loud. Plus they were discussing sculpture and I was interested.

Imagine six extremely wealthy retirees… two men and four women. All the women wore diamond rings that could have doubled as boat anchors…

Man #1: Have any of you seen that the sculpture park at Five Points is finished?

Woman #1: I live at Five Points. My condo overlooks the park.

Woman #2: My penthouse overlooks the bay.

Woman #3: The Five Points Park would be nicer if there was more lighting at night. Maybe there wouldn’t be so many homeless people.

Man #2: You’ll only see the homeless people better with more lighting.

Woman #1: They’ve added more lighting to the park... those twinkle lights. It’s very pretty at night.

Woman #3: If people would just stop feeding the homeless, they would leave. People are out there feeding them every morning and every night.

At that point, I was blatantly staring at Woman #3. I really wanted to scream at her,

“These are people you’re talking about! Not pigeons!”

But it would have been very unprofessional of me and probably wouldn’t have changed this person’s opinion. Luckily, I was saved by the start of the presentation.

As I’ve said before, I usually don’t discuss social issues in an open forum (or at a business meeting with a complete stranger) mostly because I’m not big on confrontations. Yes, I’m a wuss like that. But that woman’s words really struck me to the bone and I’ve had a knot churning in my stomach for days.

I’m not sure which upsets me more: a) That I didn’t speak up and defend my fellow man or b) That my fellow man would voice such a coarse opinion in “polite” company.


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Your Turn

What would you have done if you overheard a conversation like that? Speak up in disagreement? Be quiet and fume about it later? Ignore the whole thing? Agree?

We each miss him in our own way

Four years have gone by since my father-in-law, Roger passed away unexpectedly. Roger was the first person close to me to die. Sure, I knew relatives who passed away in years long ago. But Roger was the first person I learned to love as an adult to have died.

It’s taken these four years for me to learn that each person grieves in their own way. I can’t even begin to imagine the grief my husband and mother-in-law feel since I haven’t lost a spouse or a parent.

I will admit that I’ve been critical and judgmental of others’ exterior signs of grief. The rituals or traditions that mark the anniversary of the loved one’s death rather than his birthday make me very uncomfortable. I prefer to celebrate life. But I’ve learned over the past few years that these grieving traditions are for the benefit of the living. So I do my best to participate to support my husband and mother-in-law.

I miss Roger in my own way. I miss him terribly when there’s a family gathering. Like me, Roger came from a very small family without branches and branches of cousins. We both married into families that require a road map to keep track of all the players. Families that have a wedding, a birth, and a wake at least once a month. Roger was my mentor, my guide, my co-conspirator at family functions.

When my Sweetie and I got engaged we had dinner with his parents, his sister, and his sister’s family. At one point during the dinner, my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and Sweetie were excitedly discussing the guest list. Roger must have notice the deer-in-the-headlights-look in my eyes. He gently touched my elbow. I glanced at him and he motioned for me to lean in close. We both leaned in to share our secret and Roger said something that I will never forget,

“I’ve been married for over 40 years and I still haven’t met all the people that were at my wedding.”

Cheers, Roger. I miss you.

Next Blog, Please

Take a look at the top of the screen. Do you see the light grey bar that runs side-to-side? Just left of the middle, you’ll see the phrase “Next Blog.” If you click on it, you will randomly (I think) go to another blog in the Blogger Network.

The past few weeks on my Google Analytics, I’ve noticed an increase in visitors landing on my blog from Next Blog. Most of the visitors are from overseas and bounce right off. A few actually stick around a read a little bit. Hopefully, they’ll come back again!

But like I said, I’ve noticed an increase in these random visitors. So I was wondering why. Why is my blog coming up in the queue more often than it used to?

I was curious and had a little bit of spare time yesterday (I literally had an hour to kill while my computer burned 30 CDs) so I clicked Next Blog dozens of time just to see what came up. During that hour I almost noticed a trend. The blogs seem to come in groups. The first block seemed to be mostly homeschooling moms. Then came lots (and I mean lots) of blogs by Mormons. Next, a group of blogs that hadn’t been updated is months. Another block of general Christian bloggers which transitioned into Catholic bloggers. And of course, all we’re interspersed with an artist, photographer, writer, hypochondriac, or mommy-blogger.

Before I started my Next Blog clicking, I anticipated seeing a mixture of foreign language blogs simply because I had so many visitors from foreign countries. But really, I only came across a few. That struck me as odd and made me wonder further about the assumed randomness of Next Blog. What really got my attention was the number of Mormon bloggers. Is blogging extremely popular in the blogging community? Or were these blogs just happen to be clumped together?

OK, I just did a few minutes of Next Blog and I got three blogs by make-up artists in a row. The blogs must get grouped together. Mystery solved.

Well, not entirely.

I don’t know which group my blog is in!

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Your Turn

Do you ever click Next Blog?
How would you categorize my blog?

How Are You?

“How are you?”

How many times a day do we hear this phrase? And then simply answer, “Fine, thanks.”

How many times do we ask this question and expect only a pleasant, non-committal answer because we’ve adjusted to the social norms?

Even during a foreign language class we learn “How are you?” the very first day as part of a ritual greeting.

¿Cómo está usted?

Comment allez-vous ?

And only learn the positive response.

Muy bien, gracias.

Très bien, merci.

In the made-for-TV movie, Brave New World based on Aldous Huxley’s novel, the main characters greet each other with the single-breath salutation,

“Hi-How-are-you-I’m-fine-Thank you.”

The characters didn’t even understand the concept of asking the other person, “How are you?” Our society hasn’t gotten to that point yet but I wouldn’t be surprised if someday the true meaning of that phrase is lost in the surface pleasantries.

Now granted there are some situations in which it’s not appropriate to share exactly how you feel nor do you really want to know what’s going on in someone else’s life. Imagine greeting a sales rep or business client in a meeting, asking “How are you?” and getting this response,

“ I’m so totally stressed. My mother-in-law has decided to move in with us, my son got caught smoking pot, my husband started gambling again, and to top it all off… I’ve got cramps. I plan on coasting through this meeting. As soon as I get out of here, I’m going to Happy Hour with friends and get hammered.”

But, on the other hand, there are people in our lives who truly care about our answers. How often do we answer them truthfully? How often do we really tell them how we feel or what’s weighing on our minds?

I used to be the Queen of I’m Fine. No matter what tempest was brewing inside me I always had a happy, glossy, and perfect exterior veneer. Any sort of crisis could be happening in my life and I never once showed sign of crumbling emotionally.

I’ve been credited with being an extremely strong person. It’s also been pointed out that my inner strength is my greatest attribute and at the same time my biggest fault. I don’t know if I’ve been strong, stoic, or stupid.

When asked, “How are you?” I never answered truthfully with,

“I’m emotionally drained and physically exhausted. I want to protect my children and divorce my verbally abusive husband. I really need to talk to a friend.”

Instead I smiled and answered with my standard, “I’m fine.”

These days I’m attempting to be more honest with my answers (when appropriate) and to listen more closely to the answers of others. This is a big step for me. Believe it or not, blogging helps prompt honesty. It’s definitely easier to be more truthful, open, and vulnerable when there’s the protection of anonymity. It truly is a brave new world.

O wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world
That has such people in't!

- Miranda, The Tempest

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Your Turn

How are you? Be honest!

A Two Cupcake Kinda Day

Watch out world. I'm crabby. A crabby redhead should be approached only with caution.

Nothing seemed to go right today and I didn't have the patience to handle even the slightest bit of drama. I couldn't make up my mind if I wanted to chew nails or burst into tears. If I was three again, I would have proclaimed to those around me, "Weave me wone!"

My Sweetie seems to think that I'm crabby because last night we attended Mr. A's swim team awards dinner. That's another milestone passed on the journey to the Academy. He's probably right but now I'm so crabby I can't even think straight.

All I know is that I had the kind of day that a chocolate chip cookie or a donut couldn't have made better. A single cupcake wouldn't have fixed things either. Today was a two cupcake kinda day.

Heron's Nest Nature Park

Saturday morning dawned overcast and damp. I snuggled into the flannel sheets and dozed until I decided that I really wanted a cup of tea. I ate breakfast while curled up on the sofa and reading my book.

After an hour I glanced out the sliding glass door and thought, This is perfect walking weather. I glanced back to my book and was about to start a new chapter when I decided that in fact I would go for a walk.

All of my guys were out of the house that morning and Molly wasn't the least bit interested in getting her paws wet so I was on my own. I quickly dressed in layers and headed to the nature park that's right by our house. Rainy weather is my favorite time to walk through this park because of the absence of joggers, kids on bikes, and dog-walkers chatting on cell phones.

I considered bringing my camera but quickly nixed the idea. I wanted to enjoy the peacefulness of the walk. Of course, I found stuff that I wanted to photograph so I used my cell phone.

I was surprised by the amount of Brazilian Pepper-Trees. This is an invasive species and anyone with a brain wouldn't plant it purposely. The proliferation of these trees must be by bird droppings.

There were several trees with scorched bark... probably from summer lightning strikes. This park is so close to my house that I thought that we would have seen smoke.

This clear spot in the bushes looks down into Wolf Slough. If this was in New Jersey, I would have been down there in a heartbeat exploring. But never in a million years in Florida.

Someone left their mark but it wasn't me!

I enjoy taking time to notice the small things. Look how hard this mushroom is working to push through the surface debris.

The best part of this park is the island rookery in the middle of this small lake. It's hard to see but it's really there. The birds were particularly chatty Saturday morning. I think because of the lack of human activity.

Me all bundled up.

I had a realxing morning, enjoyed my "me" time, and stayed out much longer than I had planned. My cheeks were so cold by the time I got home!

12 Irritations

My bloggy friend, Mixy has had a bumpy start to the New Year. As a way to blow off steam, she listed 10 items that she found irritating. When she asked for comments I discovered that I had more than one or two to share. In fact, I came up with an even dozen. Apparently, I have steam to blow off and didn't know it.

Here's my dozen:

1. Reality TV shows – Well, except for Project Runway, of course. The good news is that reality TV shows are self-select items. I don’t have to watch them if I don’t want to.

2. People who make fun of NJ (my home state) but have never been there. I only ridicule locales that I’ve personally visited or resided.

3. Children without manners – We’ve all met them at one point or another.

4. Parents who fill out their kids’ college applications – Seriously, these people exist.

5. Poor grammar - I’m far from perfect. I’m sure there are some English majors out there that have cringed at my use of commas or fragmented sentences. But at least I know enough not to use a double negative.

6. A word that is consistently used incorrectly, works its way into everyday speech, and eventually becomes accepted in its incorrect form. For example: I’ve noticed in my field of work that imagery is incorrectly being used in lieu of images. And being accepted!

7. Clutter – No, I’m not an OCD neat freak but I know that I feel better when there is less mess in the house and I can readily find things.

8. Chewed-on fingernails – Seeing someone else’s chewed fingernails really gives me the heebie-jeebies.

9. Fluorescent light bulbs – I feel like they make me tired. Yes, I know they are more energy efficient but I truly prefer natural light or incandescent light.

10. Driving down the road and glancing into the car next to me to see that a child isn’t buckled into a car seat or seatbelt.

11. The Hyena Laugh – Unfortunately, I hear this laugh on a regular basis.

12. Lima Beans – Pure evil. For the most part, I’m a lover of legumes. But when it comes to my arch-nemesis, Lima and his side-kick, Kidney, I run and hide!


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Your Turn

What irritates you?

Disconnect

There’s a disconnect somewhere between my self image and my body image. All of my life I have described myself as tall, red-haired, and athletic. I still have that mental self image of myself. Something along the lines of this:

But when I see a contemporary photo of myself I see this body image:

The two don’t match and it confuses the heck out of my brain. I'd like to find a way to get the outside to more closely resemble what's on the inside.



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Your Turn

Does your self image match your body image?

Exam Week

This is high school mid-term exam week in the PLRH family. Yuck. But the kids don’t have it all that bad since it’s only a three-day week. They had off for MLK Day and then off again on Friday. The kids can go to the beach, county fair, wherever and the teachers have a free day to grade exams. Hey, no judging. We don’t get snow days in Florida and if we don’t use our hurricane days, then we have to spend them somehow.

As I was saying, it’s exam week and the house is eerily quiet. I sorta wonder how much studying is being accomplished and how much subversive goofing off is happening. I only wonder. I don’t really want to know.

I have learned a few things in the past few days that are in addition to the general statement, I’m so glad I’m not in high school anymore.

I’m glad that I never made it as far as Spanish V. I know tourist Spanish and it has served me well.

I’m glad that I never, ever have to touch a Calculus text book ever again in my lifetime. Some things just weren’t meant to be absorbed by my brain.

I still really like Wuthering Heights. OK, I love Wuthering Heights. But I’ve got to ask, how can all of the characters be so unlikeable but yet the story is so compelling?

I’ve discovered that G-Man is extremely helpful with household chores when he’s taking “study breaks.”

And lastly, I think G-Man has discovered that his mother doesn’t make a very good study partner for Geometry.

Snippets

This unintentional mini blog break just sorta happened. Even though fun and interesting things did happened at the PLRH household, I just didn't feel particularly bloggy.

So what did happen?

Friday my Sweetie returned from his conference in Orlando. I was so happy to see him. Not just because he brought back presents but because I really and truly missed him. This is significant. You've got to understand that I'm Miss Independence and usually look forward to my time alone. But instead I missed playing footsies with my Sweetie for two nights.

After dinner my Sweetie and I watched The Girl Who Played with Fire. Luckily, the boys opted to do other things when they realize subtitles were involved. There was some graphic girl-on-girl action in the movie that I had forgotten about from the book. Sweden must have a very lenient rating system on their movies.

Saturday morning we went on a tour of the Southeastern Guide Dogs facility. I'd love to be a puppy raiser but I'm not too sure how Molly would feel about that. Plus I'm not even allowed to have live plants in my office building. I can't imagine a live dog would go over very well.

Afternoon nap. Awesome!

Then all four of us saw The King's Speech. My Sweetie obviously must think this is a remarkable film because he claims that he's never seen a movie more than once in a theater. Not even Star Wars. The boys seemed to really enjoy it as well. This time it was showing at the theater by our house and we ran into a few people that we knew. One couple was there based on our recommendation.

Last night my Sweetie and I watched a little bit of the Golden Globe Awards. Apparently, there are a lot of TV shows out there winning awards that I've never heard of before. I sat there wondering if I should maybe watch some of them. But I quickly dismissed that idea because I have no clue when I would find the time. I did learn that HBO turned one of my favorite (epic) novels, Pillars of the Earth, into a mini-series. I'll have to look for that on DVD.

Today the boys had off from school and I from work. The sky threatened to rain but never did. I wondered what it would be like to live someplace where it rains all the time for a year and then movie back to Florida.

I very much would have liked to curl up with a book and read if it had rained. But alas, no rain and I really don't enjoy the books I'm reading at the moment. Three non-fiction books for work purposes. Yuck. I'm no not a non-fiction type of girl. It doesn't help that one is a small paperback with tiny print and I have over-40 eyesight. This particular book is the only one that's ever made me wish that I had a Kindle so I could enlarge the print.

One of my favorite things about having the odd holiday off from work... the time to make a yummy dinner that I normally wouldn't be able to squeeze in the schedule. Tonight we're having stewed chicken with andouille sausage, rice, and cornbread. Mmm!

Another Word for Crisis

Maybe I went a little overboard with the term crisis the other day when I mentioned my existential crisis. Perhaps I should have used predicament or even the less inflammatory situation. All I know is that I didn’t quite get the reaction I expected when I wanted to discuss my circumstance with my Sweetie. He laughed at me. Yep, laughed. Later he tried to get out of trouble by saying that he was joking with me in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Then a friend of mine asked if I had been reading Kierkegaard. Ha-ha, very funny.

Since I didn’t have any luck with the amateurs, I decided to discuss my juncture with my therapist.

Gosh, I never thought that I would be one of those people who would say that I need to discuss something with my therapist. Or reiterate, “My therapist said…”

But you know what? When you find the right one, they really can be helpful.

So today my therapist and I discussed my exigency. I’ve been rolling the thought around in my head for a few days now so I felt like I had a pretty good grasp on it. Much of what we’ve covered in the past six months meshes with this particular dilemma.

In a sense, I’ve been working on resolving my existential crisis for quite some time now. It’s just the fact that I suddenly became aware of it and was able to identify it that really threw me for a loop. Silly Erica.

One very important and valuable item I’ve discovered in my therapy journey over the past several months, is that once my logical brain resolves and/or identifies an issue, it then takes my emotional side about two days to process the information. Some times an emotional release is involved. But after that, I'm golden.

Do you ever overreact to a sudden realization?
Do you ever need to sort out a situation keeping logic and emotions separate?

Life with Boys: Out of Africa

While my Sweetie watched the Fiesta Bowl in the den, I decided to knit and I watch Out of Africa on DVD. G-Man debated which direction he should go. He asked,

"Is Out of Africa a good movie or one that will make me pretend that I suddenly have homework to do?"

Note: He watched the entire movie with me commenting on the scenery throughout. At the end, he declared that yes, indeed it was a good movie.

Existential Crisis Cookies

This morning I had an "A-ha" moment and realized that I'm smack dab in the middle of an existential crisis. In fact, I have been for quite a while but I've never been able to put my finger on it. I won't go into details right now because frankly, it kinda scares me a little. But now that I'm aware of it I can figure out a way to kick it's butt.

So what does one do when they suddenly wake up in an existential crisis? That is after one has finished crying. Why make cookies, of course!

G-Man and I opened up the cookie press that I bought after Christmas and made a batch of cookies. The press came with a recipe but not instructions. G-Man figured it out and showed me how to use it. Our first few cookies weren't all that pretty but at least they tasted good.

Studying for Geometry

I've spent the past hour playing Bejewel hoping that I would think of something to blog about. Bejewel really doesn't help me think but once I start playing it's hard to stop. Now I'm helping G-Man study for Geometry. So as you might guess, I don't have very many brain cells working at the moment.

My final decision is to just touch on the high points of the weekend.

Friday night my Sweetie and I saw The King's Speech. I know some of you have seen it already but if you haven't, DO! This is the by far the best movie I've seen in years. I'm surprised my Sweetie agreed because he's not a big fan of movie theaters and the theater showing it was out of the way. But it was well worth it and we both loved the film.

Saturday we un-Christmased the house and thoroughly cleaned. I was a little shocked by the amount of cobwebs that were swept out the door. Yuck. I guess I wasn't all that motivated to clean while I was depressed and never really noticed the cobwebs. Well, now the house is all sparkly and ready to take on the new year.

Saturday afternoon we had a small party for Mr. A. He mentioned how the athletes at school have "signing parties" when they sign the paperwork for their college sports scholarships. Plus the media even shows up. So we told Mr. A that he could have a signing party of his own. He invited his grandparets, his Blue & Gold Officer, and his girfriend Miss K.

He looks so official.

Every celebration needs a cake from the Pastry Goddess!

OK, my head hurts and I have confirmation that once you get out of high school you'll never need to know if angles are congruent and/or supplementary. Unless, of course, you're helaping your teenager study for Geometry.

Why didn't I have cool grandparents?

I’ve mentioned a dozen times before that my family lives a version of the extended-family lifestyle particularly with my parents. Thirteen years ago I bought a house only two miles from my parents. While that might be too close for some people it’s worked well for us over the years.

My parents enabled me to work full-time by being before- and after-school care for the boys. They have authorization to take the kids to the doctor, dentist, and eye doctor. They’ve been to countless sporting events, school concerts, and awards programs. Many times they’ve gone in my stead when I couldn’t get off from work. My father has offered advice that’s actually been heeded. My mother has cooked hundreds of meals and given thousands of hugs.

To say that I wouldn’t have survived my divorce and single-motherhood without their help is an understatement.

In return, the boys and I have mowed their lawn and cleaned their pool over the years. Assisted in DIY tasks including painting several rooms in the house. Watered plants and collected mail while they were on vacation. Held hands and offered moral support in surgical waiting rooms.

But most importantly, I think the boys have helped keep my parents young in the heart… which is an awesome thing to witness.

During the summer of 2002, while I was still duking it out with my soon-to-be-ex-husband, my parents took the boys on a vacation. It was a wonderful break for me and a huge bonding experience for the four of them. They rode the car train from Orlando to Washington D.C. In DC they visited the Smithsonian, rode on the Metro, and visited Mount Vernon over the course of a few days. Then they drove to New Jersey to visit my brother’s family. After a few days there they drove to Chicago to visit my aunt. In Chicago they went to the Field Museum, Navy Pier, and the Shedd Aquarium. Finally, they returned to Florida.

I’ll have you know that of all those places I’ve only been to Mount Vernon and my brother’s house.

Yesterday my parents started talking about taking another train trip in the spring. Maybe a trip to the Grand Canyon? G-Man casually asked the grandparents if he could go along too. (I haven’t been to the Grand Canyon either.) Next thing anyone knows the three of them are planning a trip during spring break. Today I was asked cautious questions about international travel and getting G-Man a passport.

I only have two questions:

1. Who are these people?
2. Why didn’t I have such cool grandparents?

A Sigh of Relief for MMR

I sighed a sigh of relief when I read this article stating that the 1998 British study linking the Measles, Mumps & Rubella (MMR) vaccination to Autism was a fraud.

Thankfully neither of our children have Autism. If the connection was actually true, there's nothing I could have done about it because both boys were immunized before the study ever came out. Heck, they were immunized with vaccines that still used mercury as a preservative (as was I and anyone over the age of 14).

Now I'm relieved to have confirmation of what I believed to be true. That such a fantastic, scientific, public health advancement as a vaccine isn't harmful to our children. I may have an overly optimistic point of view but I do truly believe that the benefits of vaccines outweigh the risks.

So to all of those people who have previously criticized me as a parent for having my children vaccinated on the typical schedule... go fly a kite.

Yea, too bad none of them read my blog.

Pop Quiz

Let’s pretend that you’re traveling on an airplane with your young child. Suddenly, the scaring yellow, oxygen masks drop from the overhead. What do you do? Do you…

A) Follow the flight attendant’s instructions and put your mask on first and then assist your child.

B) Put your child’s mask on first and then try to hurry up and put your mask on before you pass out.

Answer truthfully.

How many of you answered B because you have a Superwoman complex or because everyone else in your life comes before you? Yep, me too.

But let’s think about this reasonably. The flight attendants ask you to put your mask on first so you will be awake and able to follow instructions in an emergency. A handful of children won’t be of much use if their parents are unconscious from low cabin pressure. (Disclaimer: If it were a true life-or-death situation, you can bet that I would sacrifice myself for my child.)

The psychologist I’ve been meeting with for the past six months is a big proponent of “put your mask on first.” In other words, you must first take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

At first, I really balked at this idea. Whenever she suggested something that I do for myself, I came up with every single excuse in the book not to do it. But she persisted.

Slowly, I started to indulge myself a little bit here and there. The first major thing I did was stop at a new age gift shop and have a tarot card reading. That’s not something I would normally do and it was totally impulsive. I had fun and *gasp* nothing bad happened.

Then a few days before Christmas, my therapist suggested that I get a massage before all of the family events. She knows how painful my past Christmases have been and she thought it was a good idea to start off the festivities relaxed as possible. I couldn’t come up with a decent argument so I agreed. I was excited as soon as I made the appointment. As I mentioned before, it was an excellent decision.

The week after Christmas I found myself looking forward to Friday morning. My guys had a morning out scheduled and I planned to do some fun shopping by myself and get a pedicure. That’s when I realized that the philosophy of taking care of me first really does have merit. I texted my BFF Marcia and suggested that we each do a little something for ourselves every week.

No, that doesn’t mean I’ll have a pedicure or a massage every week. My “me” time doesn’t have to cost anything. I enjoy browsing through a bookstore, picking up book I usually wouldn’t select, and reading a few pages. Or staying at home and having uninterrupted time (no phone calls or questions from the kids) to read or work on a quilt. How about a nap? Or a nature walk in the rain?

I’m still not doing New Year’s Resolutions but I would like to add a third goal to my list of two goals for the year. My third goal is to make sure that I do something for myself (which includes “me” time) at least once a week. Because I really do believe that it makes for a happier and healthier me.

Do you take time for yourself?

Slow and Steady

So far this year is off to a tortoise’s pace. And I like it.

I’ll admit that I’m human and far from perfect. I worked myself into quite a knot over the turning of the year. 2011 has always been on the periphery as the year that Mr. A graduates from high school and leaves for college. All of the countdowns on the radio on New Year’s Eve kick-started my mental countdown to Induction Day on June 30th.

I cried when I thought of Mr. A leaving, becoming a man, and taking on the world. I didn’t cry for him because I know that he is so ready. He was born ready. I cried for me… his mom. I cried because I’m going to miss him. I cried because I just got used to life as it is and I’m scared about the change that’s coming in six months. I cried because I won't be able to talk to him every day. I cried because I won’t see him on his birthday.

By Sunday, I was a wreck. I woke up with a full-blown migraine that no number of ice packs could eliminate. I managed to eat family breakfast with the guys. I declared that my Sweetie made the best pancakes of the year and then went back to bed for the rest of the day.

I was angry with myself for ruining the last day of my vacation that I thoroughly enjoyed so much. I wanted to get back to the relaxation I experienced before Christmas. In order to do that, I had to let go. I didn’t make myself feel guilty that the laundry wasn’t finished and put away before we started back to work. I didn’t feel guilty about not going to the grocery store. We wouldn’t starve in the next few days. I didn’t feel guilty about not putting all the Christmas decorations away. The world wouldn’t come to an end if those tasks weren’t accomplished by the end of day.

I granted myself some leniency and I felt tremendously better.

This morning I woke to a London-type fog enveloping the house and sinuses that felt like they were full of cement. My head still hurt but in a different way. At work, all my co-workers shuffled along with a similar winter break hangover. Today seemed like the second longest work day in history. But that’s ok since slow and steady wins the race. It’s only the 3rd of January but I feel that the year is improving day-by-day.

I didn’t make any New Year’s Resolutions. But I do have two goals for the year. I plan to spend as much quality time with my eldest son in the next six months as our mother/son relationship transitions. My second goal is to also spend lots of quality time with my youngest son (especially after his brother leaves). I want to pull G-Man out of his shell and get him to experience life more.

So cheers to 2011... the guilt-free and tortoise-paced year!

Egads and Little Fishes! It's 2011!

Happy New Year! I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays and is ready for 2011. My winter break was really, really good. I won't bore you with a blow-by-blow recap. Besides, what's the point? If I had wanted to do that I should have just continued to blog on a daily basis, right? However, I will touch on some of the highlights... mostly things I learned during my break.

A deep-tissue massage is now a pre-requisite for any major family gathering. I had one after I left work a week ago last Thursday and I felt relaxed for days. The effects were much longer lasting and healthier than massive amounts of alcohol. Or as this gift bag in Publix calls it, "Santa's Little Helper."

My entrie family was together on Christmas Day for the first time in 20 years.

No matter how big a kid gets, he still likes to play with the packaging that the gift comes in.

Getting one husband and two teenage boys dressed for the theater is enough to make me pull my hair out. The rules were simple... no swim team t-shirts, no Navy hoodies, and no Under Armor shirts. You would have thought that I was dragging them to see Hello Dolly! But in reality we saw One Man Star Wars Trilogy. If you ever get a chance to see it or One Man Lord of the Rings Trilogy, do it.


My 14-year-old son makes a great chaperone for my 17-year-old son and his girlfriend.


I didn't do as much quilting or reading as I had planned during my break. But that's ok since I wasn't on any deadlines.

I finished this quilt and I'm really please with the way it turned out. It has a total of 12 different fabrics in it.

This is the top of a baby quilt by special request.

I discovered that I can go a week without checking email (provided I can still text). But I still can't watch a movie with my Sweetie without looking up facts on Google and IMDB.

G-Man informed me that the world will end in 2012. I told him that I better hurry up and use my stash of stationery.

My Sweetie taught the boys how to shuck oysters. They ate the oysters as soon as they got them open. I just watched and held out for the shrimp po' boys.

We took Mr. A out to the Columbia to celebrate his appoinment to the USNA.

The reality that Mr. A will be inducted into the US Naval Academy in six months hit me like a cross-town bus on New Year's Eve.