The post I forgot to title

Well, it’s New Year’s Eve and we’re all cozy at home. The boys are having some friends over because we don’t want any of them out on the roads tonight. The house is bright and cheery and full of wonderful cooking smells. Molly is curled up in a ball snoozing away. We’re all comfy and content.

Amid the grocery shopping, house cleaning, and making of yummy foods, my Sweetie and I paused to reflect on all the wonderful things that happened this year. Yes, 2011 was a bumpy year for many people but for the PLRH family this year was blessed.

I can’t remember the first quarter all that well but that leads to the first wonderful thing of 2011…

I was properly diagnosed with PTSD rather than treatment-resistance depression and was taken off the two medications that weren’t appropriate for PTSD.

As a result, I lost all the weight I had gained while taken said medication. Yeah!

June was a super busy month. Mr. A graduated first in his class, G-Man turned 15, and we took Mr. A up to the US Naval Academy for Induction Day.

Over the summer, all of us grew in our own way… and all in good ways.

In August, S and I traveled back to Annapolis to visit our Midshipman for Plebe Parents Weekend and G-Man had his first day of school ever without his big brother.

Another huge milestone this year came in November when I was released from therapy after 16 months of treatment.

The best proof that treatment was effective and no longer needed came with Thanksgiving. No panic attacks this holiday season. Double Yeah!

Overall, it’s been a fantastic year. Fingers crossed that 2012 is just as awesome.

Holiday Highlights

Day 7 of Winter Break and I haven’t done much of anything and it feels pretty darn good. Ok, that’s not entirely true. I’ve done plenty of things however, just not much of my usual day-to-day activities. Obviously, one thing I haven’t done much of is blogging. Turning on my computer hasn’t seemed all that important this week. But after seven days, some thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain needed to be put into words…

One of the hazards of having an entire week off from work is that I completely lost track of the days this week. I had RSVP’d to a going away party on Tuesday. It wasn’t until I got a text message from the hostess asking if I was lost and needed directions to her house that I realized that I totally forgot what day it was and missed the party.

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While driving home from a “Winter Solstice” party last Thursday night, A and G sang Feliz Navidad with fake Russian accents.

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There is so much glitter in our house at the moment. Most of it seems to be coming from the glitterized gift boxes in the Harry & David Tower of Treats we received.

Me: Is glitter considered a bio hazard?

S: No, why?

Me: I think I just ate some.

S: I believe it might have some anti-bacterial properties.

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In a moment of whimsy, I bought G-Man a kazoo as a stocking stuffer. Ever hear Smoke on the Water played on a kazoo?

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I received an enameled, cast iron, Le Creuset Dutch oven for Christmas. Is it wrong to be so excited about a cooking pot? I made the most amazing chicken smothered in onions the other night. My new pot is awesome! To make it even more fabulous… it’s aubergine!

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Wednesday we went to Mote Marine Aquarium to see the South African penguins that are wintering in Florida. They are cute little guys (and one girl). You can see them too on their live webcam.

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Ok, after reading this I realize that my week hasn't been terribly exciting or news worthy. Oh well, I'm enjoying myself and that's all that really matters, right?

Perspective

Forgive me for sounding like a broken record. But I truly am happy. This is the first Christmas in 19 years that I haven’t let stress or fear control my life.

The past few weeks I’ve listened as co-workers, friends, and Facebook peeps stress about all of the things they “have to do” to get ready for Christmas. I smile because there isn’t anything “I have to do” because I’m ready for Christmas in my heart.

It’s not just Christmas that I’m ready for either. I’m ready for life. My life is wonderful. I’m happy and I am truly blessed.

I have a couple of close friends that are going through some bumpy times right now. I wish I could help. I wish I could fix everything for them. But the only thing I can do is just be a friend.

There are also those I know who are unhappy. I’m unsure as to why they’re unhappy. But I think it has something to do with perspective. The way we perceive the world around us affects how we think, feel, and interact with others.

Because perspective does make all the difference I would like to share a blog post from Ellie at One Crafty Mother. I don’t know Ellie in real life and I only started following her blog a few months ago… about the time she suspected something might be wrong. You see, today (3 days before Christmas) Ellie starts cancer treatment for a tumor in her neck. She has a long, bumpy road ahead of her.

I’ve been privileged enough to read Ellie’s blog as she dealt with her fear of diagnosis and then her resulting acceptance. Her post yesterday awed me. I can’t properly put into words how it made me feel. Let me just say that I admire Ellie for many reasons and I wish her all the best.

Please visit Ellie over at One Crafty Mother.

Life with Boys: Brotherly Love

After reading my previous post, you might think that things are all unicorns, rainbows, and puppies at the PLRH house.

Yes, I’m thrilled to have everyone at home again. But I’ve got to admit that they’re driving me nuts! The testosterone level has hit critical mass. How can the maleness in the house grow exponentially with the addition of only one male-child?

As a friend of mine pointed out, the boys have 6 months worth of brotherly “love” pent up that they feel the need to share with each other.

Saturday afternoon the boys and I did a little bit of Christmas shopping. I seriously thought we were going to get thrown out of Macy’s. My darling children had a cologne fight at the men’s fragrance counter. However, we didn’t get actually get swarmed by the salespeople (3 of them) until I yelled,

I have to ride home in a car with both of you!

Two nights in a row I have woken up at midnight to a Nerf dart gun battle waging in the house. Of all things the boys could be doing at midnight, a dart gun battle is rather harmless. I just wish they were a little bit more stealthy about it and let me sleep.

G-Man thinks it’s fun to wrestle his brother. We keep trying to point out to him that his brother has spent the past 6 months training in the military and has learned all sorts of new things. When G-Man doesn’t heed our advice, we just kindly ask Mr. A to NOT break any of his brother’s bones or accidentally choke him out.

Then there are the “That’s What She Said” comments. Not only are the boys trying to outdo each other but I think my husband has a regressed to his teenage years as well.

Last night, Molly looked at me as if she expected me to do something about the entire “boy” situation. My only response was to grab my book and go in the bedroom to read.

I really am glad that we’re all together and that the boys get along so well together. I’m just in need of a little bit of girl time. At the very least, the testosterone in smaller doses.

Under One Roof

As more time goes by, the more I understand things my mother has said through the years.

It’s no secret that I’ve terribly missed my eldest son since he left for USNA in June. I missed him so much that at times it physically hurt. I missed him so much that I cried when I saw him at the airport at Thanksgiving.

Friday night my Sweetie asked me if I was excited to see Mr. A the next day. I replied,

Yes, but I will be really glad to have the whole family under one roof again.

That’s when I thought of my mother. She has always said that she just wants everyone (my brother, sister, and I) all together for Christmas. Last year was the first time we were all together on a holiday in 20 years.

I finally understand what Mom has meant all these years.

Yes, I’ve missed my son while he’s been at school. But what I’ve truly missed is having all my guys at home… together… under one roof.

Fantasy Fest Wreath

Our front door used to be green. More specifically, Village Green. While decorating for our first Christmas in the house, I realized that a traditional evergreen wreath wouldn’t show up well on the green door. I hunted high and low for a red berry wreath (and finally found one) long before they ever came trendy.

All was balanced in the front door wreath universe.

Then several years ago we painted our front door Brick Red. The wreath dilemma was back to square one. Damn.

Before I could switch gears and shop for a green wreath, a close family member gave us a white wreath. A white FEATHER wreath with silver balls and crystal baubles. I gladly accepted the thoughtfulness and secretly called it the Fantasy Fest Wreath.

I’ve been biding my time and this year I decided that the Fantasy Fest Wreath needed to be replaced. The wreath looked a little squished after being stored in the attic this past year rather than under our bed. (Hmm, intentional?) However, my mistake was not making the decision to shop for a new wreath before the second week in December. The selection of wreaths this late in the season is kinda slim.

So I opted for Plan B… enhance the Fantasy Fest look. I added a string of battery-operated, color-changing, starburst lights and I love it! The wreath is so not my style but for some reason the extra tackiness endears it to me now. I’ll shop for a new wreath next year but I am definitely keeping the blinking lights.

Missing something? Not me.

I am happy. This is the first holiday season (Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year’s) in decades that I can say I am truly happy. Genuinely happy. Happy without trying or forcing myself.

I am also tired. Work has gotten… well, more work-like in the past year. Times are tight. Budgets have been cut, salaries frozen, and bonuses made obsolete. We’re trying to do more with less… less money and less people.

Today I attended the employee holiday luncheon. I looked forward to this event ever since it was announced a few weeks ago. I always enjoy seeing fellow employees from other departments that I normally don’t see on a regular basis. Also, this year I especially looked forward to a couple hours of down time away from the office.

Another sign of the times... No employee gift this year. I wasn't surprised because I'm familiar with the budget. No big deal, right? It certainly didn't hurt my feelings. But apparently, not all of my co-workers felt the same. I overheard plenty of chatter expressing both displeasure and disappointment regarding the Lack of Gift.

I was surprised and thought to myself,

Really people? You're going to let the absence of a $10 gift put you in a bad mood and let it ruin the festive cheer?

As I walked back to my office, I kept to myself and wondered if I was missing something. Why were they grumbling and I was perfectly content?

Duh.

They're the ones missing something. Not me.

Data Dump

Before I even start, let me say,

NAVY WON!

It was a close game. The score was tied up for a little bit and I was nervous about the outcome. But in the end, Navy came out on top. Navy has won the last 10 straight Army-Navy football games. That’s truly remarkable because the second longest winning streak in the 112-year series is 5 in a row.

I was really relieved that Navy won because I didn’t want the Class of 2015 to be accused of jinxing the winning streak. In case you didn’t know, plebes get blamed for everything.

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It was another brutal day at the office with yet another marathon meeting. Who said that things would slow down at the end of the year? I know someone did because I truly had hoped there would be a pause in the lunacy.

The result of another long day is that my brain is partially fried and my blog post is this… a data dump of some of the thoughts that have been swirling around my head for the past few days.

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I’m still completely unorganized as far a Christmas goes and still completely unstressed. Can you say un-frigging-believable?

I have ideas for presents but haven’t done much shopping. The one package that I need to get in the mail is all sealed up and ready to go to the post office tomorrow. I do feel rather satisfied about that.

My Sweetie and I went to Ikea yesterday and bought a new bookcase that matches the entertainment center we got a couple of months ago. The bookcase is our present to each other. S had the pleasure of assembling it. Really, I think he enjoyed himself. Ok, he at least enjoyed the cold beer after the assembly.

I still plan on getting my Sweetie something small to unwrap on Christmas morning. I hope he’s planning to do the same. (hint hint)

Some other time when I’m not so comfortable sitting on the couch, I’ll take a photo of the bookcase and entertainment center and post it.

Our Christmas tree is still in the nude. Mr. A asked that we wait until he gets home to decorate. We decided to oblige him. I think mostly because no one else wants to put the lights on the tree. But we’ll let him fantasize that it’s because he’s special.

Mr. A will be home on Saturday!

Me thinks G-Man has hit another growth spurt. I’m haven’t gotten used to him being taller than me. I get a little spooked every time he walks up behind me.

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of New Year's cards instead of Christmas cards.

Did I mention that I cried during the intro to the Army-Navy game? Yep, I’m a sap.

I’m trying to pace myself with the holiday treats. I overloaded on candy corn before Halloween ever arrived. In fact, an unopened bag remains in my desk drawer at the office. I also over did it a little bit with the pumpkin bread. By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I didn’t want anything made out of pumpkin. So now I’m trying to wait as long as possible before I open the package of pfeffernüsse cookies I’ve hidden in the pantry.

Actually, I had to get the package out so I could spell pfeffernüsse. Perhaps I might indulge…

Bill is suppose to kick Army's ass, not mine

This week has kicked my ass.

The fudge I brought into the office Monday definitely took the edge off and helped make the lunacy more tolerable.

Tuesday I had the immense pleasure (sarcasm) to oversee a 10-hour photo shoot.

By Wednesday, lunacy was the norm again and I couldn’t figure out why I was still so tired from the photo shoot. One of my awesome co-workers even commented that I looked worn out. Gee, thanks.

On Thursday, the lunacy reached critical mass and moved into the realm of hysteria. I tried best as I could to keep from nodding off at my computer and remain invisible at the same time.

Today is Friday and I still can’t shake the exhausted, worn out feeling. My goal for the day is to be productive as possible and stay under the lunacy/hysteria radar. Wish me luck.

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One thing that has kept me going all week has been the anticipation of the Army-Navy game tomorrow. I am super excited. I can’t wait to see all the Cadets and Midshipmen and their enthusiasm. The energy is amazing! And that’s just from watching the game on TV. Next year we plan on attending in person.

Tomorrow is also Hump Day for the Plebes. December 10th is exactly halfway between I-Day (first day of being a plebe) and the Herndon Climb (last day of being a plebe). There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Also, here's a really good article on the spirit of the Army-Navy game.

Go Navy! Beat Army!

70 Years of Infamy

Last June I had the privilege of sharing a table with a Pearl Harbor survivor at a local Navy League dinner. On December 7, 1942, this gentleman was a 17-year-old sailor and had been in the Navy for all of two months. He jumped from the USS Oklahoma into the harbor wearing nothing but his skivvies. Unfortunately, not many of his shipmates were as lucky.

After Pearl Harbor, he attended the US Naval Academy and graduated with the Class of 1945.

At the Navy League dinner, this salty, old sailor stood up and led the alumni in the singing of Blue & Gold (USNA’s alma mater). At the end of the verse, the grads started to take their seats but the gentleman shouted, “Second Verse” and continued to sing. The grads quickly stood back up and sort of mumbled through the second verse. One of the wives leaned over to me and said, “I’ve heard this song for 40 years and had no idea there was a second verse.”

On this, the 70th anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day, I’m a little bit more emotional than usual.

Perhaps it’s because my son is now a Midshipman.

Also I might be a tad bit emotional because I’ve actually met a survivor. But yet being a survivor isn’t his defining characteristic. I will always remember him for his patriotism; his humor; his love of country, the US Navy, and singing the second verse of Blue & Gold.

Go Navy! Beat Army!

It's Army-Navy Week!

Spirits are high at both USNA and West Point.

Although I'll never be privy to any of them, I'm sure shenanigans are underway at both Academies.

And smack talk between services has escalated to the annual peak.

That's right, the ultimate football game... the Army-Navy Game will be played this Saturday. The Midshipmen are going for an unprecedented 10th victory in a row. Actually, Navy's current 9-game winning streak is the longest in the history of the series.

I'm very excited. My Go Navy / Beat Army magnet is on my car. My cubicle at work is discretely decorated with spirit gear. And our N Star flag is flying at the house.

So if you're looking for me on Saturday, I'll be in front of a TV somewhere chanting, I believe that we will win!

FEAR THE GOAT!

Fighting Lunacy with Fudge

Work has been driving me nuts lately. I love where I work, I enjoy my job, and I work with some awesome people. But every workplace has its lunatics.

In recent weeks, the lunatics have gotten more looney and it's really starting to wear on me.

My life is wonderful. This is the first December in many, many years that I haven't stressed about the Christmas season. I'm actually being very Zen about Christmas this year.

However, the stress from work has begun to follow me home and that's just not cool. My personal life isn't stressed at the moment and I'll be damned if I'm going to let work stress interfere.

My solution? I made fudge. Three variations to be exact... dark chocolate peppermint, maple walnut, and milk chocolate walnut.

No, I don't plan eating all of it. I'm taking it to the office tomorrow. I figure if making fudge puts a smile on my face, then eating fudge should make the lunatics smile and hopefully reduce the stress level in the building. Either that or things will be super quiet when everyone crashes from the sugar high.

The fudge recipe I use is fool-proof and changing up the flavors is a snap...

One and a half bags (18 oz) of chocolate chips
One can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional)

Melt the chips in a sauce pan over low heat. Stir in the sweetened condensed milk and extract. Spread mixture in a 9x9 pan lined with waxed or parchment paper. Let cool in refrigerator.

December 1

After I flipped the calendar page this morning, I stood staring at the new month and felt like a soup sandwich.

How the heck did it get to be December already?

I am so unprepared for Christmas. I am unprepared mentally, creatively, organizationally, logistically, and in every other way.

We have a nude evergreen in our family room. The boxes of decorations made it out of the attic but are now stacked in the garage.

I haven’t formulated a Plan B for our Christmas card yet.

Advent started last Sunday and the Advent candles are still in the package sitting on the china hutch.

I’m clueless as to what to make for dinner on Christmas Eve… for 10 people.

But you know what?

I am happy.

For the first time in 20 years, I DON’T feel overwhelmed by the holiday season.

That is such a simple statement but there is SO MUCH power (empowerment?) behind it.

This is HUGE!

I don’t feel panicked. I don’t feel stressed. I don’t feel like I “have to do” X, Y, or Z to make other people happy.

If the tree doesn’t get decorated anytime soon, no big deal. We can do it when the boys are out of school.

Christmas cards? Maybe I’ll start a new tradition and send out New Year’s cards.

Advent candles? Well, there are three remaining Sundays left in Advent.

Christmas Eve dinner? I’ll come up with something. But I can tell you now that it will involve a soup or stew of some kind.

So for the month of December I’m going to enjoy myself. I’m going to enjoy my family, the spirit of the Christmas season, the beautiful weather, the Army-Navy football game, my favorite Christmas movies, Christmas cookies, and anything else I want!